April 25th is Parental Alienation Awareness Day-Parental alienation syndrome’s addition to manual remains uncertain

Parental alienation syndrome’s addition to manual remains uncertain



Parental alienation syndrome’s addition to manual remains uncertain

(March 2011 Issue)

By Ami Albernaz

As the forthcoming Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) takes shape, some psychologists and others outside the mental health field are pushing for the addition of parental alienation syndrome, a term used to describe the effects of one parent's manipulating a child into rejecting a relationship with the other parent.

Children who have suffered parental alienation syndrome, or PAS, usually in the context of divorce or separation, can grow up depressed and struggle toward self-sufficiency, says Amy Baker, Ph.D., director of research at the Vincent J. Fontana Center for Child Protection in New York, N.Y. and the author of three books on parental alienation. Depression, guilt and low self-esteem come from a sense of unresolved loss toward the rejected parent and a need to appease the other parent.

Baker and others who support the addition of parental alienation to the DSM say its recognition could lead to more research and better intervention and would increase its legitimacy among family court judges and custody evaluators.

The term "parental alienation syndrome" was coined in the 1980s by Richard Gardner, M.D., a child psychiatrist at Columbia University. Gardner, who died in 2003, believed PAS to be a form of abuse, most often perpetrated by mothers. (He revised this claim later on to say both parents could be responsible).

The term has come under criticism from women's rights groups and battered women's advocates, who say it could be used by men trying to deflect attention from their abusive behavior.

Baker argues that parental alienation was never intended to include abusive or neglectful parents, something that Gardner also said. Rather, it refers to "strategies intended to manipulate the child into rejecting a parent when there isn't a good reason to reject that parent," she says.

The strategies used by an alienating parent to turn a child or children against the other parent tend to be pervasive, Baker says. One tactic is denigrating the other parent in front of the child.

"It can be taking a minor flaw and making it seem worthy of contempt," she says. "There's probably an endless list of specifics one parent could say bad about another, but what it really comes down to is that the other parent is made out to be unsafe, unloving and unavailable."

Anything a marginalized parent or targeted parent, does can be recast in a negative light, Baker adds: The parent who calls a lot is characterized as a stalker. If the parent pulls away to give the child space, it's abandonment.

Alienating parents often limit contact between the child and the other parent, sometimes in subtle ways - dropping the child off with the other parent 10 minutes late and picking up 10 minutes early, for instance - and not-so-subtle ways, such as texting or calling the child during visits with the other parent.

"For young children who live very much in the present, a relationship is comprised of very many little moments," Baker says. "Whatever is in the child's mind and heart, they can share it with the parent. But if there's no opportunity to do that, the relationship can suffer."

Over time, a child might begin rejecting the criticized parent out of a sense of allegiance to the other parent, even if the child doesn't understand it.

"Children may read and internalize the vocal parent's strong feelings and react protectively - or self-protectively - on that parent's behalf," says Lynn Margolies, Ph.D., a Newton, Mass. psychologist whose areas of focus include marital, parental and family conflict. "In this situation, the child may identify with the critical, angry parent or unconsciously express this parent's perceptions as if they were the child's own."

This can be damaging to children because they "disavow their own feelings, creating a state of detachment from themselves, potential confusion and aloneness," Margolies says.

It's important for targeted parents to show their children they are safe, loving and available, Baker says. As much as possible, they should try to brainstorm solutions with their children.

"Often times, an alienating parent will do something to incite conflict between the child and the targeted parent," she says. "If possible, they should rearrange things, so they're not fighting against their kid."

If curfew is a contentious issue, for instance, "the targeted parent could say, 'gee, you had some thoughts about curfew - how should we approach this?' That way, it's like you're on the same team as the kid." By focusing on a relationship with the child in spite of the obstacles, a marginalized parent can have a positive impact, Margolies says.

"Though it is easy for the marginalized parent to feel hopeless about having any impact on their child, each parent's relationship with the child is critical," she says. "The marginalized parent should try to hold this in mind and positively channel their energy into developing and enhancing their relationship with the child during their time together."

While a number of groups have sprung up recently to support parental alienation's inclusion in the new DSM, its fate remains unclear.

Last fall, Darrel Regier, M.D., vice chair of the American Psychiatric Association task force drafting the manual, told the Associated Press that the chances of parental alienation being included were slim, and that there isn't enough scientific evidence to warrant its inclusion. A spokesperson for the American Psychiatric Association told New England Psychologist, there has been no change on that stance to date.

Yet Baker says she's hopeful PAS will somehow be included, either as a relational disorder or on a list of disorders that will be considered for future manuals.