This is a story sent to me from Jessica Parker, AKA Justice Parker, a woman who was raised in NH State care after being taken from her mother by NH DCYF. She is an inmate at the NH State Prison for Women.
I knew this day would come some day, but I never expected it to be today which is exactly why it makes sense for it to be today. So here it is. My story about how I went from having almost everything I ever wanted and could imagine, ever dreamed of and never even knew existed, except for my mother, for reasons I won't explain, but hey, life's not perfect.
I was happy in my placement I shared with fifteen other girls during my two year stay.and became so close that we were practically blood and the staff I would have trusted with my life. I definitely have my problems and that's what stood in my way. My pure blind rage which I was always in, the suicidal crazed glare in my eyes and the manic depression that would never go away. So there is the reason I went from having it all; a girl in placement that is, to nothing in the blink of an eye. When I say nothing, I mean absolutely nothing. I lost all my friends in placement, the staff I had grown to trust, the city I lived in from the time I lost my Mom, my school, my belongings, my bed, my room and anyone who became the closest thing to family I had ever had in what seemed like forever. Anything and anyone in my life was gone. I lost everything, only to have it replaced with total strangers and cold steel chains. Pain and despair claw at my mind whenever I think about it.
I was 15 years old when it happened. I'm now 16 and did I mention that I was mourning the death of one of the best counselors from my placement?, No, well I was,so I'm asking you as you read this to put yourself in my shoes and look through my eyes. If you find they don't fit because you've never been there, then stop and listen, because before I go on, I have to inform you, unless you've lived it, you can never understand completely. But I am determined to further the understanding you have or you thought you had.This is about what goes on behind the locked doors, the stuff they don't want you to see or know.The dark side of the system they hide. The words that were never spoken. The lines you never read.
If you're wondering if this story will have a happy ending like a fairy tale where everybody lives happily ever after, the answer is Hell No! If you want to read something happy,funny, light or even pleasant, this ain't it. This is reality. The truth. The following Part's to this story are filled with torture, torment, pain, loss, anger, rage, hate, resentment, neglect, agony, ignorance,fear, depression, isolation and so much more but I can't name it all.You will just have to read each Part yourselves and look through my eyes even if it hurts, because it does. This is the only way they will realize what they are doing because they are not just taking in juveniles for child abuse and neglect. They are damaging children. Institutionalizing them and turning them into criminals.
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