'My foster mother may as well have been my pimp'

'My foster mother may as well have been my pimp'


"To this day I don't know why I was taken from my real mother. All I want are answers"


Published Date: 06 August 2010
Catherine's* story is painful to hear. Taken from her birth mother when she was just an infant, she spent the first 18 years of her life in the care.
During her 16 years with a foster family, she was both physically and sexually abused by the men she believed to have been her brothers.

Upon breaking her silence about the abuse she was enduring, she was outcast by her family, branded a liar and sent to a school for trouble-makers. Her experiences left her so scarred she gave up a baby for adoption at the age of 18 and has spent years trying to find answers.

To this day, the Derry woman does not know why she - and eight siblings - were taken from the care of their mother. She claims that, when she contacted Social Services to ask to see her files, she was told they had been destroyed - but now, at the age of 48, she says she feels strong enough to lay the demons of her past to rest.

"No one has ever told me why we were taken from my mother. All I know is that I was only an infant at the time - maybe two of three months old - when I was moved to live with my foster family.

"No one ever told me I was fostered. I believed them to my real family and my foster mother to be my real mum. I couldn't understand why she let the things that happened to me happen."

When Catherine turned 10, she said her foster brothers started to abuse her. "It was both physical and sexual. My foster mother must have known about it but she did nothing. As far as I was concerned, she may as well have been my pimp."


The abuse continued for three years until a chance conversation in the street blew the reality of Catherine's life wide open.

"I was playing in the street when my friend said she knew my sister. I laughed and told her of course she did, sure didn't she live in the house with me. She looked and me and said, 'No, your real sister,' and that was the first I knew that the woman who had raised me was not my real mother.

"I started piecing things together. I learned that some of the children who had come in and out of our home over the years were actually my brothers and sisters but no one told me.

"It was then I started playing up and acting out. I was hurt that they had lied to me, but I was also increasingly aware that what was happening to me was very wrong."

She admits that, from that stage, she became a troublesome child - running away and acting up. She said no one ever asked her why she was running away. They thought she was trying to stir up trouble, but in her words she was "only trying to escape the hell" her home life had become.

"Looking back, all the signs were there that I was being abused but no one seemed to want to do anything about it. I felt alone."
When Catherine was 16, she travelled into town one day and decided to go to visit Social Services herself - where she reported what had happened to her. She was shipped to St. Joseph's Training Centre in Middletown and, when her allegations were put to her foster family, they were denied.

"To have no one believe me, that was devastating."

The allegations tore what was left of Catherine's birth family apart. She did not see her elder sister for five years, nor her brother until she married seven years later. During this time, she gave one baby up for adoption and had another child die. "No one from my family attended the funeral," she said sadly.

In 1992, at the age of 30, Catherine approached Social Services to see her records and was told they had been destroyed in a fire. She is still fighting to find whatever information she can about her past.
"All I want are answers. Why was I taken from my mother? Where the family I was placed with ever vetted? Why did no one listen when I reported the abuse?"

A spokesperson for the Western Health and Social Care Trust said: "Respecting confidentiality, it would not be appropriate for the Trust to comment on any individual patient or client.

"The Trust would encourage this lady to get in touch with the Fostering Service to discuss the serious matters raised.

"The Fostering Service would be happy to arrange for this lady to meet a senior member of the team who would provide whatever help and support they can in relation to this situation. The Fostering Team can be contacted on 028 71314244."In relation to records held by the Trust, any member of the public can submit a subject access request to search for copies of their records under the Data Protection Act 1998. Further information can be obtained by contacting the Information Governance Office, Main Building, Tyrone & Fermanagh Hospital, 1 Donaghanie Road, Omagh, Co Tyrone BT79 0NS, tel 02882 835440 or fax 02882 835249. An application form is also available on the Trust's website: www.westerntrust.hscni.net."

* Name has been changed


Last Updated: 06 August 2010 9:36 AM
http://www.derryjournal.com/journal/My-foster-mother-may-as.6461228.jp