How Safe is a Foster Home for Children?

How Safe is a Foster Home for Children?


Published November 16, 2006 by:
Ann Strout

More:Foster HomeHome SickFoster ParentsMolested
I wanted to write about Foster Homes, and Foster Parents because i have Personal Experience with this Subject, and hope that my Story might help others really check into Foster Homes better before allowing a Child to be placed in one.
When i was an Infant i was in several different Foster Homes. I think out of the 10 or so that i was in there was maybe 1 that treated me almost decent. I was placed in my first Foster Home (that i can remember) around the age of 6. I don't think i will ever forget that Home.

There was 1 other Child that lived in this home. It was my Foster Parents real son. He was a Handicap boy. They of course, received Checks each month to take care of me. The money went on my Foster Parents, and their Son. At dinner time i was made to sit at a table in another room (seperate from where they ate). I was not allowed to talk, and i had to eat what was on my plate rather i liked what it was or not. When i would force down food i didn't like i would throw up. I would then get a Spanking, and was made to eat my Vomet. Until i ate all the food on my plate i was to eat my Vomet until my plate was empty. When Supper was done i had to do all of the dishes. (with no help).

At night they would all sit on the Couch together, and watch movies. I had to sit in a Chair in the corner by myself. I had to go to bed before the Movie was done. Everyone else would stay up until the Movie was over. When it was time for me to go to bed i had to go to the bathroom, and then straight to bed. No Hugs,No Goodnights, nothing just go to my room, and go to bed. Once i was in my bed my Bedroom door would be locked from the outside, and i was to stay in that room. I was not allowed out to go to the bathroom or get a drink, nothing. Bedtime was bedtime. No Exceptions!

The room i was put in had a small bed, one Blanket, and no light. I had no burrow, barely any Clothes, no Books, nothing. In the morning they would unlock my door, and tell me to get ready for School. When i got


home i had to go straight to my room until Dinner. I remember one morning i was really sick and not feeling well. I asked my Foster Mother if i could stay home becaue i wasn't feeling well. She told me that i was going to School, and that was that. I told her i really didn't feel good, and i started crying. I was Spanked on the butt, grabbed by my Hair, and thrown up the Stairs to be sent to my room. That was my Punishment for being sick, and not going to school.

That day i was locked in my room allday until Dinner time. I was Vometing on my floor in my room because i was again, locked in my room. I couldn't go to the bathroom or ask for help from noone. I stayed in my room allday, and when it was Dinner time i was allowed out of my room to eat. I got a Spanking for Vometing on my floor, and peeing in the corner of my room. I was made to eat Dinner that night by myself when everyone else finished. I remember listening to my Foster Parents, and my Foster Brother watching tv, and laughing while i ate all by myself. I Vometed after eating because i had the flu. I was again, Spanked, and made to eat my Vomet unitl i stopped, and my plate was empty.

When i finished i did the dishes, and was sent straight to my room with no tv. All because i stayed home sick from School. When they brought me to my room they told me that i will think long, and hard about staying home from School again. They locked my door, and that was that. I remember crying for a longtime that night. But i knew i had to go to sleep because i had to go to School the next morning. On sundays, i had to go to Church. It was right across the street from my Foster Home. I was sent outside by myself to cross the street, and go to Church. If it was raining i still had to stand outside alone, and go to Church. My Great Aunt, (who is now my Adopted Mother today) lived right up over the hill from me, and noticed that i was never outside.

I was always looking out the window watching my Foster Parents, and my Foster Brother play out in our dooryard. Even in the summer when it was Georgous out. She went to my Social Worker, and told them what she noticed.


She also told my Worker that the other day my Foster Father came into her Store to get a Sandwhich, and stated that he didn't know what he was going to do about me. My Great Aunt asked him why. He told her that he has to lock the Bathroom door when he goes to the Bathroom because i come running right in, and stare at him. My Great Aunt talked really nice to him that day to get all she could from him. She found what he said very Disturbing. When he left the Store my Great Aunt went right to my Worker, and told him everything that my Foster Father told her.

They soon took me out of that home, and put me with my Great Aunt, and Uncle. I remember nothing but Great things there. But then again, i was taken out of her home, and put with another Foster Family. This place was out in the Country on a Farm. Which i was so happy about. I loved Horses, and was happy at the thought of being able to ride one. I had 2 Foster Sisters. One very nice, and the other very mean. I had my own room, and was never locked in. I had more rules of course because i was a lot younger than my Foster Sisters. They were Teenagers. I remember oneday helping my Foster Mother clean out the Fenced in area that the Horses Galloped in. I helped clean out all the Rocks, and Sticks. We had a pretty big dog at this home. I was a very very Tiny girl. Nothing to me really. Everytime i would throw one of the Rocks over the Fence the dog when jump up on me and scratch me. I would cry because it hurt. My Foster Mother would yell at me, and tell me that if i didn't like it get my butt in the house, and go to my room until she was done.

I wanted to help so bad but getting jumped on, and scratched by this big dog really hurt. So i would go to my room instead, and cry. One of my Foster Sisters would come in my room, and talk to me, and brush my hair. The other one would say i was a cry baby, and needed to grow up. Then there was another night that i wanted to be part of the family, and fit in so bad that i asked if i could help bring Wood from our yard to the Wood Stove in our house. My Foster Father said sure. I was scared of the fire he had going in the yard but i wanted to help. He had me bring pieces of Wood from the yard, and pile them up next to the Wood Stove in our Dining Room. He would come back, and fourth putting Wood in the Stove, and then going back outside to get more. I thought i would help him by putting a piece of Wood into the Stove.

When i saw him comeing towards the house i got scared, and went to shut the Stove door really fast, and forgot to put my mitt on. I burnt my hand really bad. I didn't dare tell my Foster Father so i just went to the

Kitchen sink, and help my hand under cold water. He came in the house twice, and noticed i was stil at the sink. He asked me what i was doing, and i tol him that i was washing my hands. He came over to the sink, and looked at my hand. He smacked me in the back of the head, and told me to sit at the kitchen table that i was going to pay for doing that. I was crying at the table holding my hand. My Foster Mother, Father, and both Sisters stood at the table next to me.

My Foster Mother heated up Butter in the Microwave, and had my Foster Sister, and Foster Father hold my hand while she poured the Boiling Butter over my burnt hand. My other Foster Sister yelled at them telling them that they were so mean, and that they were hurting me. I just sat there crying so hard but didn't dare to move. My Punishement for putting Wood into the Stove was carrying big Cans full of Milk from the Cows in the Barn to the house. It was a long walk. And i remember the Cans being so heavy. Everytime i spilt any of the Milk i would have to start over. Go back to the Barn, and try again. This time without spilling any of the Milk. Finally my Great Aunt got me out of there, and back with her. Again i was taken out of her home, and put into another Foster Home.

This one i only had a Foster Father who smoked a lot. He never really talked to me or payed any attention to me. I don't remember having any toys or anything. I just went to School, and watched tv. I remember that he had a lot of CB's all through the house. That was what he did allday, and allnight. I didn't have much for Rules but i had nothing at the sametime. The state finally found out that the money he got to take care of me went on Drugs, and CB's. Again i was taken out of that home, and put back with my Great Aunt. At this time the State decided that i was old enough to go to Court, and say who i wanted to live with. All they needed to do was get my Biological Mother to sign papers, and agree to this. In the past they had a hardtime getting her to do this. Yet at the sametime she couldn't, and didn't take care of me. She was Mentally Challenged, and was not able to do it but didn't want anyone Adopting me. My older Brother lived with her because he was old enough to make that Decision. But he really worried about me. He wanted me with him or with my Great Aunt, and Uncle where i would be Happy, and Safe. I remember going to Court that day, and the Judge asking me if i wanted to live with my Great Aunt, and Uncle forever. I started jumping up, and down yelling yes yes!

The judge granted Adoption Happily, and sent me home with them that day. We went out to eat at this Huge Resteraunt, and then home to see my room. It had a Big bed with a Pink Blanket, a tv, Lots of Dolls, and Stuffed


Animals. I had tons of Clothes, Dresses, and Shoes. And today i couldn't have had better Parents. The years with them made up for all the bad things i went through in all of my Foster Homes. Today i can think, and Talk about it, and it doesn't bother me one bit. I am very Happy with the life i have now. I have 2 Children of my own, and would never let them go through anything like that. I will say that i do today, have Anxiety, a little bit of Depression, not much Education due to having such Low Self Esteem. But i am Hpappy, and learned a lot from this. I do have some Issues now from having that kind of life. I have a very Hardtime staying in one place more than a few months, i have some Jealousy Issues with my Fiance, Low Self Esteem, and a few other things. Because i was Sexually Molested by one of my Foster Fathers i have Issues with Sexual Interaction. I have trouble going into Public around a lot of people. Therefore i have to Work from Home in order to Work.

I urge anyone that has Children that they cannot take care of or are thinking about Foster Homes to really look into the People. They put good acts on to get that Child, and the money that comes with it. Please be very Careful chooseing a Foster Home. Or if you know of anyone that is in one please check the Home, and People out really really good. You never know what is happening in that Home to the Kids.

I think Foster Homes (not all of them) but most of them do not take care of the Children. Nor do they care about the Children they just want the money. This should really be looked into for the sake of the Children. I would NEVER want any Child to go through what i went through. I know so many do, and it just gets looked passed. But if we can start now by Researching more of the People, and Homes we may save some lives of these poor Children who are so Helpless in this Matter. I ask that anyone who reads this, and knows of anyone in a Foster Home to please look into things for that Child. Its a terrible way to live. It can really ruin a Childs future down the Road. This is an Absolutely true Story. There is so much more not said. This is just a very Tiny piece of what i went through.

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