RE:Can Unwed Fathers Block Adoptions? Reply from a Screwed Over Father

I am posting a message I received from a father in New Jersey, who's baby was adopted out by his ex-girlfriend without his consent. This is happening in all states, not just New Jersy. I am also posting my own story about my two grandchildrens father's, who's rights were terminated illegally. Actually, two fictitious mans rights were terminated by the state of NH.


RE:Can Unwed Fathers Block Adoptions? (What about a fictitious Mans Rights Being terminated?)



Reply |Anthony Jack to me
show details 9:56 PM (10 hours ago)

Ho Joanna, I enjoyed your post. I tried to comment but my comment was to long! could you please post my comment on your blog and check out my blog at the bottom.
I'm trying to reunite with my daughter.



Hi Joanna, thank you for this post. My name is Anthony. I see in your profile that it says that you're a fighter. I too have begun a fight of my own. I stumbled across this article while doing research for my own custody case involving my daughter Peyton. She was put up for adoption by her birth mother without my consent on January 13th 2009, the day that she was born.

I knew that she was conceived and had contact with her mother up until the last two months of the pregnancy when she disappeared. Her mother and I had lived together for about a year but I decided to move out because we both had problems with substance abuse. I decided that I wanted more out of life and got help for my issues.

Within about a week of moving out Inderia informed me that she thought that she was pregnant. I immediately went to the house armed with two pregnancy tests and both came up positive. At this point I had hoped that maybe she would decide to clean up her act but this was not the case. She kept insisting that I move back in with her so that we could raise the baby together. I knew that it wasn't a good idea to move back because then I'd be using again.

Since I didn't want to move back in she tried to talk me into paying for an abortion which I was very strongly opposed to in the begining. As a couple of months passed by I started to think that maybe it would be best to help her pay for an abortion considering that she was using heavily. I was very worried that the baby might be born severely disabled both physically and mentally.

However, she never followed through with the abortion because any money that she got went into her pipe instead. Part of me was relieved because I really wanted a child, but the other part of me was still very nervous about the baby's health.

I had contacted some agencies here in PA to see if I could have her committed on the grounds that she was hurting our unborn child, but was told that unborn children have no rights in PA. So I tried as best as I could to be there for her during the pregnancy and tried to encourage her to seek help without putting myself in harms way for fear of relapsing.

Around Mid November of 2008 I stopped hearing from Inderia, she was not at home and didn't call me at all. I had no idea where she was. Then in late December I ran into her sister. Her sister informed me that Inderia had "hooked up with an adoption agency that "helps" the mother out through the pregnancy, and for a year after". I could only assume that this meant that she was basically selling our baby. I was furious, depressed, a whole range of emotions.

Unfortunately I had no clue what I could do about it.

Then in mid February 2009 Inderia finally contacted me to let me know that our daughter Peyton was born on January 13th and that she'd been placed for adoption. It took everything in me to keep myself from killing her at this point.

She called because she said that she had some pictures that I could see. I refrained from erupting on her over the phone so that I could at least get some pictures and try to find out some mor einfo on the adoption.

When I met up with her she explained to me that it was an open adoption and that she could re-gain custody of Peyton. However she would only do that if I agreed to get back together with her. I have never hated someone so much in my life but contained myself and went along with it so that I could hopefully see my daughter.

This little charade continued for about three months. During this time she had told me on several occasions that she would be having a visit with peyton on this date or that date. Inevitably every time one of those dates came around she would disappear. I knew that I was being played but continued to put up with it for the occasional pictures that the adoptive couple would send and the hope of some more information that would help me down the road.

As my anger towards Inderia grew, I knew that it was time to end this little game. I let her know exactly what I think of her and haven't contacted her since. To this day she still prank calls me, but I haven't talked to her.

The good news is that the misery I went through with her for those few months actually paid off. I was able to learn the first names of the two men that adopted Peyton as well as the state that they live in. I also obtained seven pictures of her. The adoptive couple are pictured in two of them.

I tried talking to many legal services and never got anywhere with it. I started to get so upset about the whole situation that i tried to forget about it. It was just to painful. I felt totally helpless and hopeless.

One morning in November 2009 I woke up even more depressed than usuall. I started talking to my roomate about it and she had asked if Inderia had a Facebook account. I didn't see how thsi would help but it sparked the idea to try and search for the couple online. I had tried before without success.

Today was different. After being glued to the computer for about nine hours I found one of their Myspace Profiles!!! This told me the exact town that they live in.

With this information I was able to find everything out about them including last names, address, telephone number. I even found more pictures of Peyton. I was so excited that I burst into tears. I literally couldn't sleep for three days. I kept imagining what it would be like to have her back.

I was afraid of contacting them online because I didn't want to scare them off and have them disappear. So I started talking to lawyers, and I figured that since I had done all of the "impossible" work that I'd be able to find someone to help me gain custody. This has not been the case.

Everyday I look at their profile pics and I want to message them so badly but I'm afraid to chase them off and lose my opportunity forever. The thought of seeing her oneday is what keeps me going.

Not knowing what else to do I started a blog to accomplish a few things.
1.) Write letters to my daughter, hopefully she'll find them someday.
2.) Provide a place for others affected by adoption to post their stories.
3.) Hopefully find the help that i so desperately need in getting Peyton back.

Thank you for reading my comment.
Please visit Peyton's Story
http://www.peytons-story.com