Facebook has changed adoption for ever
Sat, 2010-06-19 13:04 - Kerry
Social network sites like Facebook are changing what happens after adoption. At the click of a button, birth parents can contact their children – and vice versa – with far-reaching consequences
By Eileen Fursland
June 19, 2010 / The Guardian
Adoption is undergoing a revolution. Until recently, it has been a closely managed process, with social workers going to enormous lengths to protect children placed with adoptive families from inappropriate contact with birth relatives. The exponential growth of social networking sites such as Facebook has changed that for ever – and the consequences are far-reaching.
Last month, a collective shiver ran through the homes of adoptive parents after a flurry of newspaper and television reports about birth parents using social networking sites to make unsolicited approaches to children who, years earlier, had been removed and adopted. There is indeed an increasing number of cases of adopted young people being contacted by birth parents through Facebook. There are even more instances in which the approach is initiated by adopted young people themselves, who are curious about their birth families.
"Children tracing their birth families has been the most prevalent – we have had dozens of cases in North Yorkshire," says Joan Hunt, adoption social worker for North Yorkshire county council. Every week she hears from adoptive parents who phone up in panic, having discovered that their adopted child has been having secret contact with birth relatives.
"We have had cases of the adopted child running away from the adopted family to the birth family. Age 14 to 15 seems to be the most vulnerable time. Unfortunately, post-16 tends to go off our radar," she says. "It obviously has big repercussions for everyone involved. What I find heartbreaking is that children are seeking out their birth family and meeting them with no support from those who are closest to them. Equally, birth family members are meeting children without the support that should be in place for them."
Hunt stresses that it is important not to demonise birth parents – many of whom are vulnerable themselves. "When contact has been made, adoptive parents are scared – they feel their privacy has been invaded – but because they are feeling vulnerable, some come down very hard on their kids and try to cut off their social networking activity and remove their mobile phones. I know kids who are grounded for months on end, and parents who have even been into their local library and instructed the librarian not to let their daughter use the computer. Parents can't see a way out of it. But that's not the way to behave with kids of this age.
"We need to try to find a balance. The kids are trying to tell us something when they do this. They are not doing it to be bad. They want to know and they don't have all the answers. Ultimately, these children need us to give them a lot more information about their past."
Adoptive families often turn to social workers for help with the fallout from Facebook. But social workers themselves are finding the whole issue challenging. "When our first case hit us, a tremor went round everybody in the room. Very quickly you realise you can't control it," says one.
"I feel as though, so far, my role has been to run along behind with a mop," says another. Next Thursday, more than 100 social workers from across the UK will attend a conference in London called Facing up to Facebook. Social workers want to learn more about how to advise and support families, assess the risks, protect children and young people and manage the complex situations that often arise from unplanned and unmediated contact.
The response to the conference, organised by the British Association for Adoption & Fostering (Baaf), has been so great that it has had to move to a bigger venue, and a similar conference has already been scheduled to take place in Manchester in October.
When a child is adopted, there is now often an arrangement for continued indirect contact with the birth family, if this is in the child's interests. In a system known as "letterbox contact", letters and sometimes photographs are sent via social services, to protect the family's identity and location. Some adopted children make occasional visits to a birth brother or sister adopted into another family.
Children adopted as babies or toddlers are usually told the first names and surnames of their birth parents. This is an important part of an adopted child's "life story work". With this information, in the age of Facebook, adopted young people may be able to trace their birth parents within minutes, needing no help from parents or social workers.
Today's adopted teenagers are the first to have grown up with Facebook – and at the time of the adoptions, no one could have predicted it would be possible. By making it so easy to find people, social networking sites have blown apart all the carefully thought-out procedures for tracing, contact and reunion in adoption. Reunion would not normally take place until the adopted child is at least 18 and the procedure would involve a great deal of preparation and communication through a third party at first, to protect confidentiality; plus other safeguards for both the adopted person and their birth relatives. Making contact via Facebook circumvents all of this.
For adopted young people, going through this situation in secret and alone can be emotional dynamite – regardless of whether it is the young person, the birth parent or perhaps a birth brother or sister who makes the initial approach.
Adopted teenagers have all the usual difficulties of adolescence – and more. They may have identity issues, feel they don't "fit in" anywhere and rebel against their adoptive parents. Some fantasise about their birth parents and idealise them. Then they may find themselves in immediate and intense contact with birth relatives who are, in effect, strangers, without their adoptive parents or social workers knowing about it.
"We had a teenage girl, who had only seen her father when she was a few months old, make contact with him through Facebook – within two months she had run away to live with him in another town," says one social worker.
There may be a "honeymoon period" when the young person is thrilled to have found their birth family and believes they are the answer to all their problems, but it rarely lasts. Sometimes the relative passes on the young person's details to other family members, who also start phoning and sending messages, making them feel bombarded and pressurised. Young people may discover upsetting facts, be told a misleading version of events, or find that the contact stirs up memories of earlier abuse. And if they haven't told anyone, they have to go through any resulting confusion, anger, distress, rejection or disappointment without support. "I would usually plan reunions with the birth families for young adopted adults with great care. Unpicking contact made through Facebook can be more complex," says Norma Sargent, senior post-adoption practitioner with the Coram Adoption Service in London.
Katie Smith was six months old when she was placed for adoption by her birth parents. At 14, she secretly made contact with her birth family on the internet. She was excited at first but the contact with her birth father and one of her older birth sisters has turned out to be the opposite of what she had hoped.
"My birth sister used to email me every morning, saying I was dirt and I should die," she says. "Once, my birth father said to me on the phone: 'I know everything that's going on in your life. I've got Facebook right here in front of me', and he started reading out things from my mum's profile too. And they have tried to manipulate me, making me believe things that aren't true."
It was three months before her parents found out what had happened. Katie's birth father has been imprisoned at least twice for violence and drug-related offences, and, not surprisingly, Katie's mother, Lorna, was alarmed. "We didn't know if they would turn up here or what they might do to us. We were in a state of panic," she says.
There has been one positive outcome, however. Katie was contacted on Facebook by her older sister, Amy, who – like everyone else in the extended family – had been told that Katie had died. Amy had run away from the family to a refuge at 15 to escape abuse at home. The sisters have met up several times and become friends, talking every night on the phone. Katie has struggled with the impact of two years of damaging contact. A post-adoption support worker has advised measures such as blocking the contact, changing her mobile phone number and contacting the police. But Katie can also be determined, and at the moment she won't do it, even though she recognises that every phone call, every email and text "destroys me a little bit".
Her adoptive family has had to come to terms with what has happened. "When we adopted Katie, there was no talk about continuing contact with the birth family at all – it just wasn't on the agenda," says Lorna. "My view now is that these people are part of Katie's life, and she has to find a way of coping with it. It's really hard for us and Katie, but that's how it's got to be."
The social networking revolution has raised pressing questions for everyone involved in, or touched by, adoption. Some social workers are wondering whether it will fundamentally change the nature of adoption. "There has already been a metamorphosis in terms of training and preparation of adopters and what they should expect," says Hunt. "I think that in future it will also change the nature of the type of person who adopts."
Prospective adopters will have to be prepared to be even more open with their adopted children and to take an empathetic view of the birth parents, she believes. "Otherwise they are not going to make it when the crap hits the fan when the child is 15. We don't always know what will be dished up to us. But the important thing to remember is that we are caring parents and have responsibilities and duties to our children, but we don't own them. And quite often this feeling of ownership really trips us up."
Not all birth relatives represent a risk and the risks need to be carefully assessed in each individual case. In some cases, meeting birth parents can be helpful for a young person and enable him to accept the reality of his birth family and move on.
"Some adoptive parents are defensive – they see the birth parents as bad and say, 'Why would you want to let them see your child?' But the fact is, it doesn't matter what you as parents want. If the child wants it, it will happen and it won't be your decision," says Hunt. "At 15 he can take a bus and meet up with them, and no one will be any the wiser."
An alternative is for adoptive parents to get involved and help their children find answers to their questions. It helps if they can show their children that they are open to talking about the adoption and birth family – that way, if the child needs to know more or if he or she is contacted by a birth relative, he may be more likely to tell them. In some cases, working with adoption support services, they may even be able to support them in eventually meeting birth relatives, if they decide they want to.
"Parents are scared – they don't know how to do it," says Hunt. They are worried about the impact on their own relationship with their child. "But if you are an adopted young person and your parents are open with you and help you find out what you need to know, that has to be the strongest message of all."
Some names have been changed.
Eileen Fursland is the author of Facing up to Facebook: A Survival Guide for Adoptive Families and Social Networking Sites and Adoption (a guide for social workers), both published by Baaf (baaf.org.uk)
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/jun/19/facebook-adoption-tracing-birth-mother
Isabella Brooke Knightly and Austin Gamez-Knightly
In Memory of my Loving Husband, William F. Knightly Jr. Murdered by ILLEGAL Palliative Care at a Nashua, NH Hospital
Saturday, June 19, 2010
What does removal do to the children? Part 2 of 3
Foster Parents;Did you know? What does removal do to the children? Part 2 of 3
June 18, 11:51 AMFoster Families ExaminerMarilyn Harrison
In part one we were discussing, CPS the entity that removes children from their homes, our question; what does removal do to the children? Now a few questions for our subscribers, and parents who are reading this?
1. Is it a bad parenting to remove cell phone privileges from a teen who run’s up the bill?
2. Is it a crime to be poor, homeless, or to loose your job?
3. Is it wrong to take away a teen’s bicycle helmet currently being left in the weather, or is this good parenting skills?
4. Is it wrong as a parent to place a child in time out for misbehaving?
These are actual “Child Abuse” cases filed, excuses that CPS has used to remove children from homes. Is it wrong for a parent to be able to make decisions in how to discipline their children, now discipline is called emotional or mental abuse? One foster parent refused to allow a fourteen year old girl go out at ten o’clock at night with her nineteen year old boy friend on a school night, the girl called into the hotline, the foster parent was charged with “child abuse”.
Gregory Hession, an attorney out of Boston, Mass. said in an article written for New American magazine that “Child Abuse” has become an “elastic term” that CPS can stretch in anyway that they deem necessary to justify taking YOUR children away. www.massoutrage.com/ma/
Are you our children next?
Let us examine what this trauma does to the children. After children are removed from their homes, they sometimes begin to experience emotional problems. What emotional problems you ask?
Reactive Attachment Disorder for one, lack of trust, paranoia, anxiety disorders, and the latest one that they have come up, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Ever wonder why disorders are created and then diagnosed so often in our society. Then conveniently, drugs are already in existence for this new disorder? nfpcar.org
Remember, after children are diagnosed they are often placed on drugs. Picture your children removed from you and then placed on drugs!
How could a child not be suffering from one or more of these emotional problems after the traumatic experience of being torn from the arms of loving parents, ripped from their homes screaming for their parents? The initials for these disorders go on and on; RAD., PTSD, ADD, ADHD.
Do you have the picture as to what is going on behind closed doors?
We encourage you to subscribe to your Foster Families Examiner. Read on; #3 in this series
http://www.examiner.com/x-46864-Foster-Families-Examiner~y2010m6d18-Foster-ParentsDid-you-know-What-does-removal-do-to-the-children-2-of-3
June 18, 11:51 AMFoster Families ExaminerMarilyn Harrison
In part one we were discussing, CPS the entity that removes children from their homes, our question; what does removal do to the children? Now a few questions for our subscribers, and parents who are reading this?
1. Is it a bad parenting to remove cell phone privileges from a teen who run’s up the bill?
2. Is it a crime to be poor, homeless, or to loose your job?
3. Is it wrong to take away a teen’s bicycle helmet currently being left in the weather, or is this good parenting skills?
4. Is it wrong as a parent to place a child in time out for misbehaving?
These are actual “Child Abuse” cases filed, excuses that CPS has used to remove children from homes. Is it wrong for a parent to be able to make decisions in how to discipline their children, now discipline is called emotional or mental abuse? One foster parent refused to allow a fourteen year old girl go out at ten o’clock at night with her nineteen year old boy friend on a school night, the girl called into the hotline, the foster parent was charged with “child abuse”.
Gregory Hession, an attorney out of Boston, Mass. said in an article written for New American magazine that “Child Abuse” has become an “elastic term” that CPS can stretch in anyway that they deem necessary to justify taking YOUR children away. www.massoutrage.com/ma/
Are you our children next?
Let us examine what this trauma does to the children. After children are removed from their homes, they sometimes begin to experience emotional problems. What emotional problems you ask?
Reactive Attachment Disorder for one, lack of trust, paranoia, anxiety disorders, and the latest one that they have come up, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Ever wonder why disorders are created and then diagnosed so often in our society. Then conveniently, drugs are already in existence for this new disorder? nfpcar.org
Remember, after children are diagnosed they are often placed on drugs. Picture your children removed from you and then placed on drugs!
How could a child not be suffering from one or more of these emotional problems after the traumatic experience of being torn from the arms of loving parents, ripped from their homes screaming for their parents? The initials for these disorders go on and on; RAD., PTSD, ADD, ADHD.
Do you have the picture as to what is going on behind closed doors?
We encourage you to subscribe to your Foster Families Examiner. Read on; #3 in this series
http://www.examiner.com/x-46864-Foster-Families-Examiner~y2010m6d18-Foster-ParentsDid-you-know-What-does-removal-do-to-the-children-2-of-3
What Does Removal Do to the Children Part 1 of 3
Foster Parents;Did you know? What Does Removal Do to the Children Part 1 of 3
June 18, 11:30 AMFoster Families ExaminerMarilyn Harrison
This question; What does removal do to the children" asked frequently in our training workshops all across the country by foster/adoptive and biological parents who have lost their children. In order to answer the question we are asking above, it is first necessary to understand the workings of CPS.
Most Americans have a tendency to look at this problem in one way;
“the parents that have had their children removed must have done something wrong to loose their children in the first place, CPS must have proof in order to remove the children.
Is this what you think ? You are not the only one who does. Until you have experienced this situation, you simply do not understand. Here is a quote for you to think about, it in essence tells the story; en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_they_came...
"THEY CAME FIRST for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist.
THEN THEY CAME for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist.
THEN THEY CAME for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew.
THEN THEY CAME for me and by that time no one was left to speak up."
Until they come for your children, you will say nothing.
Allow us (nfpcar.org) to straighten this misunderstanding out; CPS needs no proof to remove your children, they say the word “danger”, via an anonymous caller, and removal takes place. No proof is offered to you or even required.
This frightening thing is taking place behind closed doors in our beautiful country, the systematic destruction of families, tearing them apart one by one. Happening right under the noses of our people, "we the people".
CPS is tearing children away from their parents for money. Under the guise of “The Best Interests of the Children” they do so each and everyday across this country.. Thousands of families stand in their doorways, watching their own frightened children hauled away by strangers, helplessly standing while these people place their screaming children into cars.
Your children are placed in the Foster Care System and literally belong to the State, they become “Wards of the Court”. In some cases, you will never see your child again. Give this some thought.
We encourage you to go to parts 2-3 of this series, read on. Please subscribe to your Foster Families Examiner, don't miss any new articles that are published, support our efforts to let the public know what is going on behind closed doors in America. You may write fplegalsolutions@gmail.com or call 877-FPA-CHILD.
http://www.examiner.com/x-46864-Foster-Families-Examiner~y2010m6d18-Foster-ParentsDid-you-know-What-does-removal-do-to-the-children-1-of-3
June 18, 11:30 AMFoster Families ExaminerMarilyn Harrison
This question; What does removal do to the children" asked frequently in our training workshops all across the country by foster/adoptive and biological parents who have lost their children. In order to answer the question we are asking above, it is first necessary to understand the workings of CPS.
Most Americans have a tendency to look at this problem in one way;
“the parents that have had their children removed must have done something wrong to loose their children in the first place, CPS must have proof in order to remove the children.
Is this what you think ? You are not the only one who does. Until you have experienced this situation, you simply do not understand. Here is a quote for you to think about, it in essence tells the story; en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_they_came...
"THEY CAME FIRST for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist.
THEN THEY CAME for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist.
THEN THEY CAME for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew.
THEN THEY CAME for me and by that time no one was left to speak up."
Until they come for your children, you will say nothing.
Allow us (nfpcar.org) to straighten this misunderstanding out; CPS needs no proof to remove your children, they say the word “danger”, via an anonymous caller, and removal takes place. No proof is offered to you or even required.
This frightening thing is taking place behind closed doors in our beautiful country, the systematic destruction of families, tearing them apart one by one. Happening right under the noses of our people, "we the people".
CPS is tearing children away from their parents for money. Under the guise of “The Best Interests of the Children” they do so each and everyday across this country.. Thousands of families stand in their doorways, watching their own frightened children hauled away by strangers, helplessly standing while these people place their screaming children into cars.
Your children are placed in the Foster Care System and literally belong to the State, they become “Wards of the Court”. In some cases, you will never see your child again. Give this some thought.
We encourage you to go to parts 2-3 of this series, read on. Please subscribe to your Foster Families Examiner, don't miss any new articles that are published, support our efforts to let the public know what is going on behind closed doors in America. You may write fplegalsolutions@gmail.com or call 877-FPA-CHILD.
http://www.examiner.com/x-46864-Foster-Families-Examiner~y2010m6d18-Foster-ParentsDid-you-know-What-does-removal-do-to-the-children-1-of-3
What does removal do to the children?
Foster Parents;Did you know? What does removal do to the children? Part 3 of 3
June 18, 12:12 PMFoster Families ExaminerMarilyn Harrison
In part two we were discussing the emotional problems that children who have experienced removal from their homes may suffer from. We discovered that many of these children are diagnosed with disorders such as RAD, PTSD. If you missed part one and two go back. Now let us go on;
We discovered that each child in the Foster Care System brings money into the agency. Now add the fact that for each one of these disorders the agencies, CPS receive more money for each child they have in the Foster Care System, it behooves agencies to label children with these disorders.
It does not take a rocket scientist to realize what Walter Mondale warned us of when he submitted this funding plan, that in essence was responsible for the creation of CPS…. what he warned of is now taking place. Follow the corruption and money; www.eagleforumofga.org/articles_and_alerts.php
It is all about money, no longer about the children.
No misunderstanding here as to what is being said; although we need to protect our children from harm, there needs to be a method of doing that, but along with any method created this method needs to also be one that offers accountability. CPS is the only branch of government that has absolutely no accountability, checks and balances are needed to protect the people from a government becoming oppressive to the very people in which it answers to.
The obvious question to those who tend to analyze scenarios like this one, now that we have been made aware of this situation, is to ask why this has never been accomplished with CPS?
CPS has free rein to do whatever it wishes with our families and our children, with absolutely no balances and no accountability. When one considers what our country was founded on, then we consider that this entity seems to prey on the poor, or otherwise oppressed members of our society.. Being unemployed, uneducated is not a crime, or people who are unable to defend themselves are targeted. Instead of assisting these parents in their present financial crunch, being homeless, or unemployed, this entity seems to pounce on the opportunity to take their children.
? Challenge; please research this subject on your own, for your own protection,more importantly for the safety of your children. nfpcar.org
We encourage you to subscribe to your Foster Parents Examiner articles, support our efforts in letting the public know what is going on behind closed doors of CPS. .
http://www.examiner.com/x-46864-Foster-Families-Examiner~y2010m6d18-Foster-ParentsDid-you-know-What-does-removal-do-to-the-children-3-of-3
June 18, 12:12 PMFoster Families ExaminerMarilyn Harrison
In part two we were discussing the emotional problems that children who have experienced removal from their homes may suffer from. We discovered that many of these children are diagnosed with disorders such as RAD, PTSD. If you missed part one and two go back. Now let us go on;
We discovered that each child in the Foster Care System brings money into the agency. Now add the fact that for each one of these disorders the agencies, CPS receive more money for each child they have in the Foster Care System, it behooves agencies to label children with these disorders.
It does not take a rocket scientist to realize what Walter Mondale warned us of when he submitted this funding plan, that in essence was responsible for the creation of CPS…. what he warned of is now taking place. Follow the corruption and money; www.eagleforumofga.org/articles_and_alerts.php
It is all about money, no longer about the children.
No misunderstanding here as to what is being said; although we need to protect our children from harm, there needs to be a method of doing that, but along with any method created this method needs to also be one that offers accountability. CPS is the only branch of government that has absolutely no accountability, checks and balances are needed to protect the people from a government becoming oppressive to the very people in which it answers to.
The obvious question to those who tend to analyze scenarios like this one, now that we have been made aware of this situation, is to ask why this has never been accomplished with CPS?
CPS has free rein to do whatever it wishes with our families and our children, with absolutely no balances and no accountability. When one considers what our country was founded on, then we consider that this entity seems to prey on the poor, or otherwise oppressed members of our society.. Being unemployed, uneducated is not a crime, or people who are unable to defend themselves are targeted. Instead of assisting these parents in their present financial crunch, being homeless, or unemployed, this entity seems to pounce on the opportunity to take their children.
? Challenge; please research this subject on your own, for your own protection,more importantly for the safety of your children. nfpcar.org
We encourage you to subscribe to your Foster Parents Examiner articles, support our efforts in letting the public know what is going on behind closed doors of CPS. .
http://www.examiner.com/x-46864-Foster-Families-Examiner~y2010m6d18-Foster-ParentsDid-you-know-What-does-removal-do-to-the-children-3-of-3
What will happen to a child taken from her mother due to drug abuse?
What will happen to a child taken from her mother due to drug abuse?
By PainPal
Someone I know used drugs before, during, and after her pregnancy. Her daughter was born with a drug addiction and is still in the hospital (3 weeks). If reported, I assume the child will be taken away, but will the family be able to take custody of the child legally? Or does the child HAVE to go into a foster care setting? I don’t know how this works, and would like to possibly care for this child, but if I take the legal route I don’t want the baby to go to strangers. Does anyone know how this works?
Share and Enjoy:
Categories : Treatment
Comments
the eyes have it! says:
June 19, 2010 at 1:27 am
well, first off, the child was tested in the hospital and if so, the social workers are already involved. chances are, the mother will have to clean up her act. the child will also go to family first before entering the foster care system. a child born addicted to drugs has many things that can go wrong. especially a bit later, like during the school years.
Linda R says:
June 19, 2010 at 1:53 am
The child will automatically go into foster care until family can be notified.
dwh212 says:
June 19, 2010 at 1:59 am
A fit and willing relative is the first choice placement for a child who has been taken into state custody because of abuse or neglect. Placement with a stranger, if it happens at all, should be short-term and temporary. If you believe you’re capable of caring for the child and want to do so, you should contact child protective services right away and tell them you want the child placed with you. Be persistent. Bear in mind that you don’t have to make a lifelong commitment in order to be approved for placement.
Dot Knightly says:
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
June 19, 2010 at 2:22 pm
In NH, my daughter was accused of using illegal drugs while pregnant, yet she was in a methadone program. Two day’s before Tox report’s came back, she was reported to DCYF by the hospital Social worker, due to the slander of a drug counselor. This was even after the baby had met all hospital criteria for discharge. The mother had been given a morphine IV for nineteen hour’s in labor, as the baby was placenta previa, which she was never told, nor was she told the baby should have been born by C-section as both mother and baby could have died. She was also given methadone in labor, which the counselor testified didn’t have time to reach the baby, so the morphine wouldn’t have either. Lab test’s show the baby was never tested for methadone. The baby was stolen and not placed with family. She was put into foster care, which pay’s the state much more money than relative’s, even relatives called DCYF and begged to take the baby. They were told,”Relative placement is NOT an option. She’s going into foster care, PERIOD!”
The mother was court-ordered into a medical methadone detox program in the state and then into transitional housing with her daughter, as DCYF didn’t want her family to help her with the baby. Once she was at the top of the list for the transitional housing, she and her family found out there was NO medical methadone detox in the state. She was court-ordered into a program that didn’t exist and was not allowed to go to another state to detox. She was then given thirteen day’s to detox on her own from 85mgs. It was impossible. She was then given until the end of the month. She lost all visits with her daughter because she was still on methadone. Her drug test result’s showed her doses and levels going down and the CPSW was calling the methadone clinic every day, checking on her doses.
The day before she was to go into transitional housing, there was a court review hearing. The mother had her last dose of 5 mg’s before court. The CPSW told the Judge the mother was NOT being drug tested and her doses and levels weren’t going down. If she wasn’t being drug tested, how could the CPSW say the doses weren’t going down? If the Judge worked for the people instead of DCYF, he would never have gone along with the caseworker. The mother was denied admittance to the housing with her daughter. She went back to drugs after losing all hope to ever regain custody of her daughter.
So please, DO NOT trust anyone from CPS/DCYF. My daughter trusted her caseworker and lost her daughter because of it. She was screwed over at every turn. Even after the hearing, the caseworker spoke to the foster stranger’s outside of the courtroom. She was overheard by many when she told them,”Don’t worry, there’s no guarantee C—-’s going anywhere.” This sounds to me as if the CPSW was working for the foster stranger’s all along.Not my daughter. Did the foster’s pay her off? It wouldn’t surprise me in the least.
http://methadonetreatmentfor.com/34323/what-will-happen-to-a-child-taken-from-her-mother-due-to-drug-abuse/comment-page-1/#comment-35474
By PainPal
Someone I know used drugs before, during, and after her pregnancy. Her daughter was born with a drug addiction and is still in the hospital (3 weeks). If reported, I assume the child will be taken away, but will the family be able to take custody of the child legally? Or does the child HAVE to go into a foster care setting? I don’t know how this works, and would like to possibly care for this child, but if I take the legal route I don’t want the baby to go to strangers. Does anyone know how this works?
Share and Enjoy:
Categories : Treatment
Comments
the eyes have it! says:
June 19, 2010 at 1:27 am
well, first off, the child was tested in the hospital and if so, the social workers are already involved. chances are, the mother will have to clean up her act. the child will also go to family first before entering the foster care system. a child born addicted to drugs has many things that can go wrong. especially a bit later, like during the school years.
Linda R says:
June 19, 2010 at 1:53 am
The child will automatically go into foster care until family can be notified.
dwh212 says:
June 19, 2010 at 1:59 am
A fit and willing relative is the first choice placement for a child who has been taken into state custody because of abuse or neglect. Placement with a stranger, if it happens at all, should be short-term and temporary. If you believe you’re capable of caring for the child and want to do so, you should contact child protective services right away and tell them you want the child placed with you. Be persistent. Bear in mind that you don’t have to make a lifelong commitment in order to be approved for placement.
Dot Knightly says:
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June 19, 2010 at 2:22 pm
In NH, my daughter was accused of using illegal drugs while pregnant, yet she was in a methadone program. Two day’s before Tox report’s came back, she was reported to DCYF by the hospital Social worker, due to the slander of a drug counselor. This was even after the baby had met all hospital criteria for discharge. The mother had been given a morphine IV for nineteen hour’s in labor, as the baby was placenta previa, which she was never told, nor was she told the baby should have been born by C-section as both mother and baby could have died. She was also given methadone in labor, which the counselor testified didn’t have time to reach the baby, so the morphine wouldn’t have either. Lab test’s show the baby was never tested for methadone. The baby was stolen and not placed with family. She was put into foster care, which pay’s the state much more money than relative’s, even relatives called DCYF and begged to take the baby. They were told,”Relative placement is NOT an option. She’s going into foster care, PERIOD!”
The mother was court-ordered into a medical methadone detox program in the state and then into transitional housing with her daughter, as DCYF didn’t want her family to help her with the baby. Once she was at the top of the list for the transitional housing, she and her family found out there was NO medical methadone detox in the state. She was court-ordered into a program that didn’t exist and was not allowed to go to another state to detox. She was then given thirteen day’s to detox on her own from 85mgs. It was impossible. She was then given until the end of the month. She lost all visits with her daughter because she was still on methadone. Her drug test result’s showed her doses and levels going down and the CPSW was calling the methadone clinic every day, checking on her doses.
The day before she was to go into transitional housing, there was a court review hearing. The mother had her last dose of 5 mg’s before court. The CPSW told the Judge the mother was NOT being drug tested and her doses and levels weren’t going down. If she wasn’t being drug tested, how could the CPSW say the doses weren’t going down? If the Judge worked for the people instead of DCYF, he would never have gone along with the caseworker. The mother was denied admittance to the housing with her daughter. She went back to drugs after losing all hope to ever regain custody of her daughter.
So please, DO NOT trust anyone from CPS/DCYF. My daughter trusted her caseworker and lost her daughter because of it. She was screwed over at every turn. Even after the hearing, the caseworker spoke to the foster stranger’s outside of the courtroom. She was overheard by many when she told them,”Don’t worry, there’s no guarantee C—-’s going anywhere.” This sounds to me as if the CPSW was working for the foster stranger’s all along.Not my daughter. Did the foster’s pay her off? It wouldn’t surprise me in the least.
http://methadonetreatmentfor.com/34323/what-will-happen-to-a-child-taken-from-her-mother-due-to-drug-abuse/comment-page-1/#comment-35474
Baby's death ruled homicide-Father given custody of child on life support
unhappygrammy-Is this what DCYF and the NH courts are waiting for? To return my grandchildren on life support or even dead? This is totally sick!
Baby's death ruled homicide
By Michael Abramowitz
The Daily Reflector
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
The death of a 5-month-old Greenville boy was found to be homicide Wednesday by the Pitt County Medical Examiner.
Dakota Chase Etheridge, born Jan. 10, died from a non-accidental head trauma, ruled as a homicide, said Colleen Cheterton of the medical examiner’s office.
Sandy Kay Etheridge, 27, the child’s mother, is expected to be charged in the death early next week, Chief Investigator James Tripp of the Pitt County Sheriff’s Office said.
“A grand jury will convene Monday. If they return a bill of indictment, the mother will be charged with murder,” Tripp said.
The child was taken off life support Sunday at Pitt County Memorial Hospital, Tripp said, six weeks after being placed in intensive care with severe bleeding in his brain, ruptured retinas and a fractured left leg.
The decision to remove the child from life support was made by his father after he was given custody in a closed court proceeding before Judge Galen Braddy. The proceeding included officials with the county Department of Social Services, law enforcement officers, a guardian ad litem and legal representatives for the mother, Tripp said.
The infant died in the arms of his maternal grandmother Cynthia Burchett, said Jennipher Dickens, a family member. Burchett had been shut out of legal proceedings by the court and temporarily banned from her grandson’s hospital room, she said.
Dickens’ child survived a similar incident at her ex-husband’s hands, she said. She was surprised to see it happen again in her family.
“It was a shock to find that this tragedy had happened in my family, despite knowing that the same thing happened to my baby,” Dickens said. “It’s disheartening and has devastated the whole family, particularly under these circumstances. I hope that justice will be served for Dakota.”
State statutes prevent courts and social services from sharing information publicly about cases in which a juvenile is taken into protective custody, so Braddy and DSS Director George Perry gave no reasons for preventing Burchett from visiting the baby or being informed of medical decisions.
Contact Michael Abramowitz at mabramowitz@reflector.com or (252) 329-9571.
http://www.reflector.com/news/babys-death-ruled-homicide-37822
Baby's death ruled homicide
By Michael Abramowitz
The Daily Reflector
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
The death of a 5-month-old Greenville boy was found to be homicide Wednesday by the Pitt County Medical Examiner.
Dakota Chase Etheridge, born Jan. 10, died from a non-accidental head trauma, ruled as a homicide, said Colleen Cheterton of the medical examiner’s office.
Sandy Kay Etheridge, 27, the child’s mother, is expected to be charged in the death early next week, Chief Investigator James Tripp of the Pitt County Sheriff’s Office said.
“A grand jury will convene Monday. If they return a bill of indictment, the mother will be charged with murder,” Tripp said.
The child was taken off life support Sunday at Pitt County Memorial Hospital, Tripp said, six weeks after being placed in intensive care with severe bleeding in his brain, ruptured retinas and a fractured left leg.
The decision to remove the child from life support was made by his father after he was given custody in a closed court proceeding before Judge Galen Braddy. The proceeding included officials with the county Department of Social Services, law enforcement officers, a guardian ad litem and legal representatives for the mother, Tripp said.
The infant died in the arms of his maternal grandmother Cynthia Burchett, said Jennipher Dickens, a family member. Burchett had been shut out of legal proceedings by the court and temporarily banned from her grandson’s hospital room, she said.
Dickens’ child survived a similar incident at her ex-husband’s hands, she said. She was surprised to see it happen again in her family.
“It was a shock to find that this tragedy had happened in my family, despite knowing that the same thing happened to my baby,” Dickens said. “It’s disheartening and has devastated the whole family, particularly under these circumstances. I hope that justice will be served for Dakota.”
State statutes prevent courts and social services from sharing information publicly about cases in which a juvenile is taken into protective custody, so Braddy and DSS Director George Perry gave no reasons for preventing Burchett from visiting the baby or being informed of medical decisions.
Contact Michael Abramowitz at mabramowitz@reflector.com or (252) 329-9571.
http://www.reflector.com/news/babys-death-ruled-homicide-37822
Friday, June 18, 2010
Home from foster care: At last, a day to celebrate reunification
THURSDAY, JUNE 17, 2010
Home from foster care: At last, a day to celebrate reunification
A GOOD IDEA FROM PITTSBURGH SPREADS ACROSS THE COUNTRY
unhappygrammy-I haven't come across any articles for NH celebrating National Reunification Day. I guess that's because there are NO families in NH who have been reunified! Once a child is stolen, their never returned!
Many years ago, I sent an e-mail to Marc Cherna, the reform-minded Director of the Allegheny County, Pa. Department of Human Services. I noted that, like so many other child welfare systems, the one in Pittsburgh had a day to celebrate adoptions. So how about one to celebrate birth families that have been reunified?
Cherna was way ahead of me. He'd already created such an event in Pittsburgh, an annual picnic for reunified families.
After that, whenever a reformer was named to run a child welfare system, I would tell them about Pittsburgh's celebration and suggest they do something similar. That led to three big systems across the country following Pittsburgh's lead.
And on Saturday, for the first time, there will be celebrations of reunified families across the country. The National Project to Improve Representation for Parents Involved in the Child Welfare System, a part of the American Bar Association Center on Children and the Law, is coordinating the effort. Not everyone is celebrating on June 19. Florida held a week of celebrations around Mother's Day, and Los Angeles County held its celebrations earlier - though you'd never know it if you relied for information on the Los Angeles Times.
I suspect one of the best celebrations will be the one in Chicago, sponsored not by a child welfare agency, but by the Family Defense Center. The keynote speaker is Karl Dennis, pioneer of Wraparound services.
If the child welfare agency in your community isn't sponsoring one of these events, and didn't do one earlier this year, this might be a good time to ask them a question:
You say your first priority is reunification. So why is it that all you ever celebrate is adoption and foster care?
Posted by NATIONAL COALITION FOR CHILD PROTECTION REFORM at 7:57 AM
http://nccpr.blogspot.com/
Home from foster care: At last, a day to celebrate reunification
A GOOD IDEA FROM PITTSBURGH SPREADS ACROSS THE COUNTRY
unhappygrammy-I haven't come across any articles for NH celebrating National Reunification Day. I guess that's because there are NO families in NH who have been reunified! Once a child is stolen, their never returned!
Many years ago, I sent an e-mail to Marc Cherna, the reform-minded Director of the Allegheny County, Pa. Department of Human Services. I noted that, like so many other child welfare systems, the one in Pittsburgh had a day to celebrate adoptions. So how about one to celebrate birth families that have been reunified?
Cherna was way ahead of me. He'd already created such an event in Pittsburgh, an annual picnic for reunified families.
After that, whenever a reformer was named to run a child welfare system, I would tell them about Pittsburgh's celebration and suggest they do something similar. That led to three big systems across the country following Pittsburgh's lead.
And on Saturday, for the first time, there will be celebrations of reunified families across the country. The National Project to Improve Representation for Parents Involved in the Child Welfare System, a part of the American Bar Association Center on Children and the Law, is coordinating the effort. Not everyone is celebrating on June 19. Florida held a week of celebrations around Mother's Day, and Los Angeles County held its celebrations earlier - though you'd never know it if you relied for information on the Los Angeles Times.
I suspect one of the best celebrations will be the one in Chicago, sponsored not by a child welfare agency, but by the Family Defense Center. The keynote speaker is Karl Dennis, pioneer of Wraparound services.
If the child welfare agency in your community isn't sponsoring one of these events, and didn't do one earlier this year, this might be a good time to ask them a question:
You say your first priority is reunification. So why is it that all you ever celebrate is adoption and foster care?
Posted by NATIONAL COALITION FOR CHILD PROTECTION REFORM at 7:57 AM
http://nccpr.blogspot.com/
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