How to Deal With a Liar
February 8th, 2010 .http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-a-Liar
wikihow.com
Britney, Krystle C., Jackie B, Anonymous
Liars. So difficult to deal with, yet so easy! This article will teach you some tips on how to deal with liars, and possibly how to make them crack.
When dealing with truth, liars and suppression of truth, or where a crime involves a conspiracy, or conspiracy to cover-up, accuse those guilty of the later freely. They (both those deliberately seeking to lead you astray, and those who are simply foolish or misguided thinkers) generally run for cover when thus illuminated.
1. Remember that, when dealing with a liar, the best policy is blinding truth. Liars always are shown in the end for what they are.
2. Keep your words soft and hold your tongue. At times this may be the hardest thing to do when presented with a lie, either to you, or about you. Simply state the truth. Do not use harsh words. Do not get angry.
3. Let the lie be seen for what it is in time.
4. Make sure you do not lie, most importantly. If you are known as an honest person, who never fails the truth, when a lie is said the other will be known as false. “False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil”. -Plato
5. Keep in mind that if one speaks lies about you, then say nothing back but the truth. Even if it hurts sometimes. “Anger at lies lasts forever. Anger at truth can’t last”. Greg Evans
6. Remember that truth really is the best weapon for fighting a lie. “Truth is generally the best vindication against slander”. Abraham Lincoln
7. Ask an elder for help in the matter. No matter what you are, be you 7 of 75, there is wisdom that comes with age, and presenting your problem to an elder, will often lead you to a result. Never forget that they have lived already and have the wisdom that accompanies that.
8. Understand that if a child lies that’s considered immaturity, if an adult lies thats considered having an evil tongue.
9. Reflect on the quote: “Words are cheap, but all the money in the world can’t buy back an exposed lie!” -Noel Gallagher.
http://eduarticles.com/how-to-deal-with-a-liar
Isabella Brooke Knightly and Austin Gamez-Knightly
In Memory of my Loving Husband, William F. Knightly Jr. Murdered by ILLEGAL Palliative Care at a Nashua, NH Hospital
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Child Abuse and Neglect-A Must Read for Nashua, NH DCYF
Child Abuse and Neglect
February 8th, 2010 by admin Leave a reply » .http://www.helpguide.org/mental/child_abuse_physical_emotional_sexual_neglect.htm
helpguide.org
Child abuse is more than bruises and broken bones. While physical abuse might be the most visible sign, other types of abuse, such as emotional abuse or child neglect, also leave deep, long lasting scars. Some signs of child abuse are subtler than others. However, by learning common types of abuse and what you can do, you can make a huge difference in a child’s life. The earlier abused children get help, the greater chance they have to heal from their abuse and not perpetuate the cycle. Learn the signs and symptoms of child abuse and help break the cycle, finding out where to get help for the children and their caregivers.
Understanding child abuse and neglect
Child abuse is more than bruises or broken bones. While physical abuse is shocking due to the scars it leaves, not all child abuse is as obvious. Ignoring children’s needs, putting them in unsupervised, dangerous situations, or making a child feel worthless or stupid are also child abuse. Regardless of the type of child abuse, the result is serious emotional harm.
Myths and facts about child abuse and neglect
MYTH #1: It’s only abuse if it’s violent.
Fact: Physical abuse is just one type of child abuse. Neglect and emotional abuse can be just as damaging, and since they are more subtle, others are less likely to intervene. .
MYTH #2: Only bad people abuse their children.
Fact: While it’s easy to say that only “bad people” abuse their children, it’s not always so black and white. Not all abusers are intentionally harming their children. Many have been victims of abuse themselves, and don’t know any other way to parent. Others may be struggling with mental health issues or a substance abuse problem.
MYTH #3: Child abuse doesn’t happen in “good” families.
Fact: Child abuse doesn’t only happen in poor families or bad neighborhoods. It crosses all racial, economic, and cultural lines. Sometimes, families who seem to have it all from the outside are hiding a different story behind closed doors.
MYTH #4: Most child abusers are strangers.
Fact: While abuse by strangers does happen, most abusers are family members or others close to the family
MYTH #5: Abused children always grow up to be abusers.
Fact: It is true that abused children are more likely to repeat the cycle as adults, unconsciously repeating what they experienced as children. On the other hand, many adult survivors of child abuse have a strong motivation to protect their children against what they went through and become excellent parents.
Effects of child abuse and neglect
All types of child abuse and neglect leave lasting scars. Some of these scars might be physical, but emotional scarring has long lasting effects throughout life, damaging a child’s sense of self, ability to have healthy relationships, and ability to function at home, at work and at school. Some effects include:
* Lack of trust and relationship difficulties. If you can’t trust your parents, who can you trust? Abuse by a primary caregiver damages the most fundamental relationship as a child—that you will safely, reliably get your physical and emotional needs met by the person who is responsible for your care. Without this base, it is very difficult to learn to trust people or know who is trustworthy. This can lead to difficulty maintaining relationships due to fear of being controlled or abused. It can also lead to unhealthy relationships because the adult doesn’t know what a good relationship is.
* Effects of child abuse and neglectCore feelings of being “worthless” or “damaged.” If you’ve been told over and over again as a child that you are stupid or no good, it is very difficult to overcome these core feelings. You may experience them as reality. Adults may not strive for more education, or settle for a job that may not pay enough, because they don’t believe they can do it or are worth more. Sexual abuse survivors, with the stigma and shame surrounding the abuse, often especially struggle with a feeling of being damaged.
* Trouble regulating emotions. Abused children cannot express emotions safely. As a result, the emotions get stuffed down, coming out in unexpected ways. Adult survivors of child abuse can struggle with unexplained anxiety, depression, or anger. They may turn to alcohol or drugs to numb out the painful feelings.
Types of child abuse
There are several types of child abuse, but the core element that ties them together is the emotional effect on the child. Children need predictability, structure, clear boundaries, and the knowledge that their parents are looking out for their safety. Abused children cannot predict how their parents will act. Their world is an unpredictable, frightening place with no rules. Whether the abuse is a slap, a harsh comment, stony silence, or not knowing if there will be dinner on the table tonight, the end result is a child that feel unsafe, uncared for, and alone.
Emotional child abuse
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me? Contrary to this old saying, emotional abuse can severely damage a child’s mental health or social development, leaving lifelong psychological scars. Examples of emotional child abuse include:
* Constant belittling, shaming, and humiliating a child
* Calling names and making negative comparisons to others
* Telling a child he or she is “no good,” “worthless,” “bad,” or “a mistake.”
* Frequent yelling, threatening, or bullying.
* Ignoring or rejecting a child as punishment, giving him or her the silent treatment.
* Limited physical contact with the child—no hugs, kisses, or other signs of affection.
* Exposing the child to violence or the abuse of others, whether it be the abuse of a parent, a sibling, or even a pet.
Child neglect
Child neglect—a very common type of child abuse—is a pattern of failing to provide for a child’s basic needs, whether it be adequate food, clothing, hygiene, or supervision. Child neglect is not always easy to spot. Sometimes, a parent might become physically or mentally unable to care for a child, such as with a serious injury, untreated depression, or anxiety. Other times, alcohol or drug abuse may seriously impair judgment and the ability to keep a child safe.
Older children might not show outward signs of neglect, becoming used to presenting a competent face to the outside world, and even taking on the role of the parent. But at the end of the day, neglected children are not getting their physical and emotional needs met.
Physical child abuse
Physical child abusePhysical abuse involves physical harm or injury to the child. It may be the result of a deliberate attempt to hurt the child, but not always. It can also result from severe discipline, such as using a belt on a child, or physical punishment that is inappropriate to the child’s age or physical condition.
Many physically abusive parents and caregivers insist that their actions are simply forms of discipline—ways to make children learn to behave. But there is a big difference between using physical punishment to discipline and physical abuse. The point of disciplining children is to teach them right from wrong, not to make them live in fear.
Physical abuse vs. Discipline
In physical abuse, unlike physical forms of discipline, the following elements are present:
* Unpredictability. The child never knows what is going to set the parent off. There are no clear boundaries or rules. The child is constantly walking on eggshells, never sure what behavior will trigger a physical assault.
* Lashing out in anger. Physically abusive parents act out of anger and the desire to assert control, not the motivation to lovingly teach the child. The angrier the parent, the more intense the abuse.
* Using fear to control behavior. Parents who are physically abusive may believe that their children need to fear them in order to behave, so they use physical abuse to “keep their child in line.” However, what children are really learning is how to avoid being hit, not how to behave or grow as individuals.
Child sexual abuse: A hidden type of abuse
Child sexual abuse is an especially complicated form of abuse because of its layers of guilt and shame. It’s important to recognize that sexual abuse doesn’t always involve body contact. Exposing a child to sexual situations or material is sexually abusive, whether or not touching is involved.
While news stories of sexual predators are scary, what is even more frightening is that sexual abuse usually occurs at the hands of someone the child knows and should be able to trust—most often close relatives. And contrary to what many believe, it’s not just girls who are at risk. Boys and girls both suffer from sexual abuse. In fact, sexual abuse of boys may be underreported due to shame and stigma.
The problem of shame and guilt in child sexual abuse
Aside from the physical damage that sexual abuse can cause, the emotional component is powerful and far-reaching. Sexually abused children are tormented by shame and guilt. They may feel that they are responsible for the abuse or somehow brought it upon themselves. This can lead to self-loathing and sexual problems as they grow older—often either excessive promiscuity or an inability to have intimate relations.
The shame of sexual abuse makes it very difficult for children to come forward. They may worry that others won’t believe them, will be angry with them, or that it will split their family apart. Because of these difficulties, false accusations of sexual abuse are not common, so if a child confides in you, take him or her seriously. Don’t turn a blind eye!
Warning signs of child abuse and neglect
Warning signs of child abuse and neglectThe earlier child abuse is caught, the better the chance of recovery and appropriate treatment for the child. Child abuse is not always obvious. By learning some of the common warning signs of child abuse and neglect, you can catch the problem as early as possible and get both the child and the abuser the help that they need.
Of course, just because you see a warning sign doesn’t automatically mean a child is being abused. It’s important to dig deeper, looking for a pattern of abusive behavior and warning signs, if you notice something off.
Warning signs of emotional abuse in children
* Excessively withdrawn, fearful, or anxious about doing something wrong.
* Shows extremes in behavior (extremely compliant or extremely demanding; extremely passive or extremely aggressive).
* Doesn’t seem to be attached to the parent or caregiver.
* Acts either inappropriately adult (taking care of other children) or inappropriately infantile (rocking, thumb-sucking, tantruming).
Warning signs of physical abuse in children
* Frequent injuries or unexplained bruises, welts, or cuts.
* Is always watchful and “on alert,” as if waiting for something bad to happen.
* Injuries appear to have a pattern such as marks from a hand or belt.
* Shies away from touch, flinches at sudden movements, or seems afraid to go home.
* Wears inappropriate clothing to cover up injuries, such as long-sleeved shirts on hot days.
Warning signs of neglect in children
* Clothes are ill-fitting, filthy, or inappropriate for the weather.
* Hygiene is consistently bad (unbathed, matted and unwashed hair, noticeable body odor).
* Untreated illnesses and physical injuries.
* Is frequently unsupervised or left alone or allowed to play in unsafe situations and environments.
* Is frequently late or missing from school.
Warning signs of sexual abuse in children
* Trouble walking or sitting.
* Displays knowledge or interest in sexual acts inappropriate to his or her age, or even seductive behavior.
* Makes strong efforts to avoid a specific person, without an obvious reason.
* Doesn’t want to change clothes in front of others or participate in physical activities.
* An STD or pregnancy, especially under the age of 14.
* Runs away from home.
Child abuse and reactive attachment disorderChild abuse and reactive attachment disorder
Severe abuse early in life can lead to reactive attachment disorder. Children with this disorder are so disrupted that they have extreme difficulty establishing normal relationships and attaining normal developmental milestones. They need special treatment and support.
Read: Attachment Disorders: Insecure Attachment and Reactive Attachment Disorder
Risk factors for child abuse and neglect
While child abuse and neglect occurs in all types of families—even in those that look happy from the outside—children are at a much greater risk in certain situations.
* Domestic violence. Witnessing domestic violence is terrifying to children and emotionally abusive. Even if the mother does her best to protect her children and keeps them from being physically abused, the situation is still extremely damaging. If you or a loved one is in an abusive relationships, getting out is the best thing for protecting the children.
* Alcohol and drug abuse. Living with an alcoholic or addict is very difficult for children and can easily lead to abuse and neglect. Parents who are drunk or high are unable to care for their children, make good parenting decisions, and control often-dangerous impulses. Substance abuse also commonly leads to physical abuse.
* Untreated mental illness. Parents who suffering from depression, an anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, or another mental illness have trouble taking care of themselves, much less their children. A mentally ill or traumatized parent may be distant and withdrawn from his or her children, or quick to anger without understanding why. Treatment for the caregiver means better care for the children.
* Lack of parenting skills. Some caregivers never learned the skills necessary for good parenting. Teen parents, for example, might have unrealistic expectations about how much care babies and small children need. Or parents who where themselves victims of child abuse may only know how to raise their children the way they were raised. In such cases, parenting classes, therapy, and caregiver support groups are great resources for learning better parenting skills.
* Stress and lack of support. Parenting can be a very time-intensive, difficult job, especially if you’re raising children without support from family, friends, or the community or you’re dealing with relationship problems or financial difficulties. Caring for a child with a disability, special needs, or difficult behaviors is also a challenge. It’s important to get the support you need, so you are emotionally and physically able to support your child.
Recognizing abusive behavior in yourself
Do you see yourself in some of these descriptions, painful as it may be? Do you feel angry and frustrated and don’t know where to turn? Raising children is one of life’s greatest challenges and can trigger anger and frustration in the most even tempered. If you grew up in a household where screaming and shouting or violence was the norm, you may not know any other way to raise your kids.
Recognizing that you have a problem is the biggest step to getting help. If you yourself were raised in an abusive situation, that can be extremely difficult. Children experience their world as normal. It may have been normal in your family to be slapped or pushed for little to no reason, or that mother was too drunk to cook dinner. It may have been normal for your parents to call you stupid, clumsy, or worthless. Or it may have been normal to watch your mother get beaten up by your father.
It is only as adults that we have the perspective to step back and take a hard look at what is normal and what is abusive. Read the above sections on the types of abuse and warning signs. Do any of those ring a bell for you now? Or from when you were a child? The following is a list of warning signs that you may be crossing the line into abuse:
How do you know when you’ve crossed the line?
* You can’t stop the anger. What starts as a swat on the backside may turn into multiple hits getting harder and harder. You may shake your child harder and harder and finally throw him or her down. You find yourself screaming louder and louder and can’t stop yourself.
* You feel emotionally disconnected from your child. You may feel so overwhelmed that you don’t want anything to do with your child. Day after day, you just want to be left alone and for your child to be quiet.
* Meeting the daily needs of your child seems impossible. While everyone struggles with balancing dressing, feeding, and getting kids to school or other activities, if you continually can’t manage to do it, it’s a sign that something might be wrong.
* Other people have expressed concern. It may be easy to bristle at other people expressing concern. However, consider carefully what they have to say. Are the words coming from someone you normally respect and trust? Denial is not an uncommon reaction.
Breaking the cycle of child abuse
If you have a history of child abuse, having your own children can trigger strong memories and feelings that you may have repressed. This may happen when a child is born, or at later ages when you remember specific abuse to you. You may be shocked and overwhelmed by your anger, and feel like you can’t control it. But you can learn new ways to manage your emotions and break your old patterns.
Remember, you are the most important person in your child’s world. It’s worth the effort to make a change, and you don’t have to go it alone. Help and support are available.
Tips for changing your reactions
* Learn what is age appropriate and what is not. Having realistic expectations of what children can handle at certain ages will help you avoid frustration and anger at normal child behavior. For example, newborns are not going to sleep through the night without a peep, and toddlers are not going to be able to sit quietly for extended periods of time.
* Develop new parenting skills. While learning to control your emotions is critical, you also need a game plan of what you are going to do instead. Start by learning appropriate discipline techniques and how to set clear boundaries for your children. Parenting classes, books, and seminars are a way to get this information. You can also turn to other parents for tips and advice.
* Take care of yourself. If you are not getting enough rest and support or you’re feeling overwhelmed, you are much more likely to succumb to anger. Sleep deprivation, common in parents of young children, adds to moodiness and irritability—exactly what you are trying to avoid.
* Get professional help. Breaking the cycle of abuse can be very difficult if the patterns are strongly entrenched. If you can’t seem to stop yourself no matter how hard you try, it’s time to get help, be it therapy, parenting classes, or other interventions. Your children will thank you for it.
* Learn how you can get your emotions under control. The first step to getting your emotions under control is realizing that they are there. If you were abused as a child, you may have an especially difficult time getting in touch with your range of emotions. You may have had to deny or repress them as a child, and now they spill out without your control. For a step by step process on how you can develop your emotional intelligence, visit EQ Central.
Learning to Control your Anger
Getting anger under control is easier than you think. With a little insight into the real reasons for your anger and some effective anger management tools, you can learn how to express your feelings in healthier ways and keep your temper from hurting the people in your life.
Read: Anger Management: Tips and Techniques for Getting Anger Under Control
Helping an abused or neglected child
Helping an abused or neglected childWhat should you do if you suspect that a child has been abused? How do you approach him or her? Or what if a child comes to you? It’s normal to feel a little overwhelmed and confused in this situation. Child abuse is a difficult subject that can be hard to accept and even harder to talk about.
Just remember, you can make a tremendous difference in the life of an abused child, especially if you take steps to stop the abuse early. When talking with an abused child, the best thing you can provide is calm reassurance and unconditional support. Let your actions speak for you if you’re having trouble finding the words. Remember that talking about the abuse may be very difficult for the child. It’s your job to reassure the child and provide whatever help you can.
Tips for talking to an abused child
* Avoid denial and remain calm. A common reaction to news as unpleasant and shocking as child abuse is denial. However, if you display denial to a child, or show shock or disgust at what they are saying, the child may be afraid to continue and will shut down. As hard as it may be, remain as calm and reassuring as you can.
* Don’t interrogate. Let the child explain to you in his or her own words what happened, but don’t interrogate the child or ask leading questions. This may confuse and fluster the child and make it harder for them to continue their story.
* Reassure the child that they did nothing wrong. It takes a lot for a child to come forward about abuse. Reassure him or her that you take what is said seriously, and that it is not the child’s fault.
* Safety comes first. If you feel that your safety or the safety of the child would be threatened if you try to intervene, leave it to the professionals. You may be able to provide more support later after the initial professional intervention.
Reporting child abuse and neglect
If you suspect a child is being abused, it’s critical to get them the help he or she needs. Reporting child abuse seems so official. Many people are reluctant to get involved in other families’ lives. Understanding some of the myths behind reporting may help put your mind at ease if you need to report child abuse:
* I don’t want to interfere in someone else’s family. The effects of child abuse are lifelong, affecting future relationships, self-esteem, and sadly putting even more children at risk of abuse as the cycle continues. Help break the cycle of child abuse.
* What if I break up someone’s home? The priority in child protective services is keeping children in the home. A child abuse report does not mean a child is automatically removed from the home – unless the child is clearly in danger. Support such as parenting classes, anger management or other resources may be offered first to parents if safe for the child.
* They will know it was me who called. Reporting is anonymous. In most states, you do not have to give your name when you report child abuse. The child abuser cannot find out who made the report of child abuse.
* It won’t make a difference what I have to say. If you have a gut feeling that something is wrong, it is better to be safe than sorry. Even if you don’t see the whole picture, others may have noticed as well, and a pattern can help identify child abuse that might have otherwise slipped through the cracks.
http://eduarticles.com/child-abuse-and-neglect
February 8th, 2010 by admin Leave a reply » .http://www.helpguide.org/mental/child_abuse_physical_emotional_sexual_neglect.htm
helpguide.org
Child abuse is more than bruises and broken bones. While physical abuse might be the most visible sign, other types of abuse, such as emotional abuse or child neglect, also leave deep, long lasting scars. Some signs of child abuse are subtler than others. However, by learning common types of abuse and what you can do, you can make a huge difference in a child’s life. The earlier abused children get help, the greater chance they have to heal from their abuse and not perpetuate the cycle. Learn the signs and symptoms of child abuse and help break the cycle, finding out where to get help for the children and their caregivers.
Understanding child abuse and neglect
Child abuse is more than bruises or broken bones. While physical abuse is shocking due to the scars it leaves, not all child abuse is as obvious. Ignoring children’s needs, putting them in unsupervised, dangerous situations, or making a child feel worthless or stupid are also child abuse. Regardless of the type of child abuse, the result is serious emotional harm.
Myths and facts about child abuse and neglect
MYTH #1: It’s only abuse if it’s violent.
Fact: Physical abuse is just one type of child abuse. Neglect and emotional abuse can be just as damaging, and since they are more subtle, others are less likely to intervene. .
MYTH #2: Only bad people abuse their children.
Fact: While it’s easy to say that only “bad people” abuse their children, it’s not always so black and white. Not all abusers are intentionally harming their children. Many have been victims of abuse themselves, and don’t know any other way to parent. Others may be struggling with mental health issues or a substance abuse problem.
MYTH #3: Child abuse doesn’t happen in “good” families.
Fact: Child abuse doesn’t only happen in poor families or bad neighborhoods. It crosses all racial, economic, and cultural lines. Sometimes, families who seem to have it all from the outside are hiding a different story behind closed doors.
MYTH #4: Most child abusers are strangers.
Fact: While abuse by strangers does happen, most abusers are family members or others close to the family
MYTH #5: Abused children always grow up to be abusers.
Fact: It is true that abused children are more likely to repeat the cycle as adults, unconsciously repeating what they experienced as children. On the other hand, many adult survivors of child abuse have a strong motivation to protect their children against what they went through and become excellent parents.
Effects of child abuse and neglect
All types of child abuse and neglect leave lasting scars. Some of these scars might be physical, but emotional scarring has long lasting effects throughout life, damaging a child’s sense of self, ability to have healthy relationships, and ability to function at home, at work and at school. Some effects include:
* Lack of trust and relationship difficulties. If you can’t trust your parents, who can you trust? Abuse by a primary caregiver damages the most fundamental relationship as a child—that you will safely, reliably get your physical and emotional needs met by the person who is responsible for your care. Without this base, it is very difficult to learn to trust people or know who is trustworthy. This can lead to difficulty maintaining relationships due to fear of being controlled or abused. It can also lead to unhealthy relationships because the adult doesn’t know what a good relationship is.
* Effects of child abuse and neglectCore feelings of being “worthless” or “damaged.” If you’ve been told over and over again as a child that you are stupid or no good, it is very difficult to overcome these core feelings. You may experience them as reality. Adults may not strive for more education, or settle for a job that may not pay enough, because they don’t believe they can do it or are worth more. Sexual abuse survivors, with the stigma and shame surrounding the abuse, often especially struggle with a feeling of being damaged.
* Trouble regulating emotions. Abused children cannot express emotions safely. As a result, the emotions get stuffed down, coming out in unexpected ways. Adult survivors of child abuse can struggle with unexplained anxiety, depression, or anger. They may turn to alcohol or drugs to numb out the painful feelings.
Types of child abuse
There are several types of child abuse, but the core element that ties them together is the emotional effect on the child. Children need predictability, structure, clear boundaries, and the knowledge that their parents are looking out for their safety. Abused children cannot predict how their parents will act. Their world is an unpredictable, frightening place with no rules. Whether the abuse is a slap, a harsh comment, stony silence, or not knowing if there will be dinner on the table tonight, the end result is a child that feel unsafe, uncared for, and alone.
Emotional child abuse
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me? Contrary to this old saying, emotional abuse can severely damage a child’s mental health or social development, leaving lifelong psychological scars. Examples of emotional child abuse include:
* Constant belittling, shaming, and humiliating a child
* Calling names and making negative comparisons to others
* Telling a child he or she is “no good,” “worthless,” “bad,” or “a mistake.”
* Frequent yelling, threatening, or bullying.
* Ignoring or rejecting a child as punishment, giving him or her the silent treatment.
* Limited physical contact with the child—no hugs, kisses, or other signs of affection.
* Exposing the child to violence or the abuse of others, whether it be the abuse of a parent, a sibling, or even a pet.
Child neglect
Child neglect—a very common type of child abuse—is a pattern of failing to provide for a child’s basic needs, whether it be adequate food, clothing, hygiene, or supervision. Child neglect is not always easy to spot. Sometimes, a parent might become physically or mentally unable to care for a child, such as with a serious injury, untreated depression, or anxiety. Other times, alcohol or drug abuse may seriously impair judgment and the ability to keep a child safe.
Older children might not show outward signs of neglect, becoming used to presenting a competent face to the outside world, and even taking on the role of the parent. But at the end of the day, neglected children are not getting their physical and emotional needs met.
Physical child abuse
Physical child abusePhysical abuse involves physical harm or injury to the child. It may be the result of a deliberate attempt to hurt the child, but not always. It can also result from severe discipline, such as using a belt on a child, or physical punishment that is inappropriate to the child’s age or physical condition.
Many physically abusive parents and caregivers insist that their actions are simply forms of discipline—ways to make children learn to behave. But there is a big difference between using physical punishment to discipline and physical abuse. The point of disciplining children is to teach them right from wrong, not to make them live in fear.
Physical abuse vs. Discipline
In physical abuse, unlike physical forms of discipline, the following elements are present:
* Unpredictability. The child never knows what is going to set the parent off. There are no clear boundaries or rules. The child is constantly walking on eggshells, never sure what behavior will trigger a physical assault.
* Lashing out in anger. Physically abusive parents act out of anger and the desire to assert control, not the motivation to lovingly teach the child. The angrier the parent, the more intense the abuse.
* Using fear to control behavior. Parents who are physically abusive may believe that their children need to fear them in order to behave, so they use physical abuse to “keep their child in line.” However, what children are really learning is how to avoid being hit, not how to behave or grow as individuals.
Child sexual abuse: A hidden type of abuse
Child sexual abuse is an especially complicated form of abuse because of its layers of guilt and shame. It’s important to recognize that sexual abuse doesn’t always involve body contact. Exposing a child to sexual situations or material is sexually abusive, whether or not touching is involved.
While news stories of sexual predators are scary, what is even more frightening is that sexual abuse usually occurs at the hands of someone the child knows and should be able to trust—most often close relatives. And contrary to what many believe, it’s not just girls who are at risk. Boys and girls both suffer from sexual abuse. In fact, sexual abuse of boys may be underreported due to shame and stigma.
The problem of shame and guilt in child sexual abuse
Aside from the physical damage that sexual abuse can cause, the emotional component is powerful and far-reaching. Sexually abused children are tormented by shame and guilt. They may feel that they are responsible for the abuse or somehow brought it upon themselves. This can lead to self-loathing and sexual problems as they grow older—often either excessive promiscuity or an inability to have intimate relations.
The shame of sexual abuse makes it very difficult for children to come forward. They may worry that others won’t believe them, will be angry with them, or that it will split their family apart. Because of these difficulties, false accusations of sexual abuse are not common, so if a child confides in you, take him or her seriously. Don’t turn a blind eye!
Warning signs of child abuse and neglect
Warning signs of child abuse and neglectThe earlier child abuse is caught, the better the chance of recovery and appropriate treatment for the child. Child abuse is not always obvious. By learning some of the common warning signs of child abuse and neglect, you can catch the problem as early as possible and get both the child and the abuser the help that they need.
Of course, just because you see a warning sign doesn’t automatically mean a child is being abused. It’s important to dig deeper, looking for a pattern of abusive behavior and warning signs, if you notice something off.
Warning signs of emotional abuse in children
* Excessively withdrawn, fearful, or anxious about doing something wrong.
* Shows extremes in behavior (extremely compliant or extremely demanding; extremely passive or extremely aggressive).
* Doesn’t seem to be attached to the parent or caregiver.
* Acts either inappropriately adult (taking care of other children) or inappropriately infantile (rocking, thumb-sucking, tantruming).
Warning signs of physical abuse in children
* Frequent injuries or unexplained bruises, welts, or cuts.
* Is always watchful and “on alert,” as if waiting for something bad to happen.
* Injuries appear to have a pattern such as marks from a hand or belt.
* Shies away from touch, flinches at sudden movements, or seems afraid to go home.
* Wears inappropriate clothing to cover up injuries, such as long-sleeved shirts on hot days.
Warning signs of neglect in children
* Clothes are ill-fitting, filthy, or inappropriate for the weather.
* Hygiene is consistently bad (unbathed, matted and unwashed hair, noticeable body odor).
* Untreated illnesses and physical injuries.
* Is frequently unsupervised or left alone or allowed to play in unsafe situations and environments.
* Is frequently late or missing from school.
Warning signs of sexual abuse in children
* Trouble walking or sitting.
* Displays knowledge or interest in sexual acts inappropriate to his or her age, or even seductive behavior.
* Makes strong efforts to avoid a specific person, without an obvious reason.
* Doesn’t want to change clothes in front of others or participate in physical activities.
* An STD or pregnancy, especially under the age of 14.
* Runs away from home.
Child abuse and reactive attachment disorderChild abuse and reactive attachment disorder
Severe abuse early in life can lead to reactive attachment disorder. Children with this disorder are so disrupted that they have extreme difficulty establishing normal relationships and attaining normal developmental milestones. They need special treatment and support.
Read: Attachment Disorders: Insecure Attachment and Reactive Attachment Disorder
Risk factors for child abuse and neglect
While child abuse and neglect occurs in all types of families—even in those that look happy from the outside—children are at a much greater risk in certain situations.
* Domestic violence. Witnessing domestic violence is terrifying to children and emotionally abusive. Even if the mother does her best to protect her children and keeps them from being physically abused, the situation is still extremely damaging. If you or a loved one is in an abusive relationships, getting out is the best thing for protecting the children.
* Alcohol and drug abuse. Living with an alcoholic or addict is very difficult for children and can easily lead to abuse and neglect. Parents who are drunk or high are unable to care for their children, make good parenting decisions, and control often-dangerous impulses. Substance abuse also commonly leads to physical abuse.
* Untreated mental illness. Parents who suffering from depression, an anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, or another mental illness have trouble taking care of themselves, much less their children. A mentally ill or traumatized parent may be distant and withdrawn from his or her children, or quick to anger without understanding why. Treatment for the caregiver means better care for the children.
* Lack of parenting skills. Some caregivers never learned the skills necessary for good parenting. Teen parents, for example, might have unrealistic expectations about how much care babies and small children need. Or parents who where themselves victims of child abuse may only know how to raise their children the way they were raised. In such cases, parenting classes, therapy, and caregiver support groups are great resources for learning better parenting skills.
* Stress and lack of support. Parenting can be a very time-intensive, difficult job, especially if you’re raising children without support from family, friends, or the community or you’re dealing with relationship problems or financial difficulties. Caring for a child with a disability, special needs, or difficult behaviors is also a challenge. It’s important to get the support you need, so you are emotionally and physically able to support your child.
Recognizing abusive behavior in yourself
Do you see yourself in some of these descriptions, painful as it may be? Do you feel angry and frustrated and don’t know where to turn? Raising children is one of life’s greatest challenges and can trigger anger and frustration in the most even tempered. If you grew up in a household where screaming and shouting or violence was the norm, you may not know any other way to raise your kids.
Recognizing that you have a problem is the biggest step to getting help. If you yourself were raised in an abusive situation, that can be extremely difficult. Children experience their world as normal. It may have been normal in your family to be slapped or pushed for little to no reason, or that mother was too drunk to cook dinner. It may have been normal for your parents to call you stupid, clumsy, or worthless. Or it may have been normal to watch your mother get beaten up by your father.
It is only as adults that we have the perspective to step back and take a hard look at what is normal and what is abusive. Read the above sections on the types of abuse and warning signs. Do any of those ring a bell for you now? Or from when you were a child? The following is a list of warning signs that you may be crossing the line into abuse:
How do you know when you’ve crossed the line?
* You can’t stop the anger. What starts as a swat on the backside may turn into multiple hits getting harder and harder. You may shake your child harder and harder and finally throw him or her down. You find yourself screaming louder and louder and can’t stop yourself.
* You feel emotionally disconnected from your child. You may feel so overwhelmed that you don’t want anything to do with your child. Day after day, you just want to be left alone and for your child to be quiet.
* Meeting the daily needs of your child seems impossible. While everyone struggles with balancing dressing, feeding, and getting kids to school or other activities, if you continually can’t manage to do it, it’s a sign that something might be wrong.
* Other people have expressed concern. It may be easy to bristle at other people expressing concern. However, consider carefully what they have to say. Are the words coming from someone you normally respect and trust? Denial is not an uncommon reaction.
Breaking the cycle of child abuse
If you have a history of child abuse, having your own children can trigger strong memories and feelings that you may have repressed. This may happen when a child is born, or at later ages when you remember specific abuse to you. You may be shocked and overwhelmed by your anger, and feel like you can’t control it. But you can learn new ways to manage your emotions and break your old patterns.
Remember, you are the most important person in your child’s world. It’s worth the effort to make a change, and you don’t have to go it alone. Help and support are available.
Tips for changing your reactions
* Learn what is age appropriate and what is not. Having realistic expectations of what children can handle at certain ages will help you avoid frustration and anger at normal child behavior. For example, newborns are not going to sleep through the night without a peep, and toddlers are not going to be able to sit quietly for extended periods of time.
* Develop new parenting skills. While learning to control your emotions is critical, you also need a game plan of what you are going to do instead. Start by learning appropriate discipline techniques and how to set clear boundaries for your children. Parenting classes, books, and seminars are a way to get this information. You can also turn to other parents for tips and advice.
* Take care of yourself. If you are not getting enough rest and support or you’re feeling overwhelmed, you are much more likely to succumb to anger. Sleep deprivation, common in parents of young children, adds to moodiness and irritability—exactly what you are trying to avoid.
* Get professional help. Breaking the cycle of abuse can be very difficult if the patterns are strongly entrenched. If you can’t seem to stop yourself no matter how hard you try, it’s time to get help, be it therapy, parenting classes, or other interventions. Your children will thank you for it.
* Learn how you can get your emotions under control. The first step to getting your emotions under control is realizing that they are there. If you were abused as a child, you may have an especially difficult time getting in touch with your range of emotions. You may have had to deny or repress them as a child, and now they spill out without your control. For a step by step process on how you can develop your emotional intelligence, visit EQ Central.
Learning to Control your Anger
Getting anger under control is easier than you think. With a little insight into the real reasons for your anger and some effective anger management tools, you can learn how to express your feelings in healthier ways and keep your temper from hurting the people in your life.
Read: Anger Management: Tips and Techniques for Getting Anger Under Control
Helping an abused or neglected child
Helping an abused or neglected childWhat should you do if you suspect that a child has been abused? How do you approach him or her? Or what if a child comes to you? It’s normal to feel a little overwhelmed and confused in this situation. Child abuse is a difficult subject that can be hard to accept and even harder to talk about.
Just remember, you can make a tremendous difference in the life of an abused child, especially if you take steps to stop the abuse early. When talking with an abused child, the best thing you can provide is calm reassurance and unconditional support. Let your actions speak for you if you’re having trouble finding the words. Remember that talking about the abuse may be very difficult for the child. It’s your job to reassure the child and provide whatever help you can.
Tips for talking to an abused child
* Avoid denial and remain calm. A common reaction to news as unpleasant and shocking as child abuse is denial. However, if you display denial to a child, or show shock or disgust at what they are saying, the child may be afraid to continue and will shut down. As hard as it may be, remain as calm and reassuring as you can.
* Don’t interrogate. Let the child explain to you in his or her own words what happened, but don’t interrogate the child or ask leading questions. This may confuse and fluster the child and make it harder for them to continue their story.
* Reassure the child that they did nothing wrong. It takes a lot for a child to come forward about abuse. Reassure him or her that you take what is said seriously, and that it is not the child’s fault.
* Safety comes first. If you feel that your safety or the safety of the child would be threatened if you try to intervene, leave it to the professionals. You may be able to provide more support later after the initial professional intervention.
Reporting child abuse and neglect
If you suspect a child is being abused, it’s critical to get them the help he or she needs. Reporting child abuse seems so official. Many people are reluctant to get involved in other families’ lives. Understanding some of the myths behind reporting may help put your mind at ease if you need to report child abuse:
* I don’t want to interfere in someone else’s family. The effects of child abuse are lifelong, affecting future relationships, self-esteem, and sadly putting even more children at risk of abuse as the cycle continues. Help break the cycle of child abuse.
* What if I break up someone’s home? The priority in child protective services is keeping children in the home. A child abuse report does not mean a child is automatically removed from the home – unless the child is clearly in danger. Support such as parenting classes, anger management or other resources may be offered first to parents if safe for the child.
* They will know it was me who called. Reporting is anonymous. In most states, you do not have to give your name when you report child abuse. The child abuser cannot find out who made the report of child abuse.
* It won’t make a difference what I have to say. If you have a gut feeling that something is wrong, it is better to be safe than sorry. Even if you don’t see the whole picture, others may have noticed as well, and a pattern can help identify child abuse that might have otherwise slipped through the cracks.
http://eduarticles.com/child-abuse-and-neglect
Another Foster Care Death Children’s Aid told girl at risk to self
Children’s Aid told girl at risk to self Children’s Aid told girl at risk to self
Posted By Karena Walter
Posted 22 hours ago
A Family and Children's Services worker who handled the case of a 14-year-old killer believed the girl was a danger to herself, not to others.
Ana Meager testified Monday she was given a psychometrist's report on the girl that found the teen had an inability to understand boundaries in the community and safety risks.
"She would be easily victimized," Meager said.
Meager, who was assigned the girl's file in November 2004, was testifying on the fifth day of a coroner's inquest into the death of Matthew Reid.
The three-year-old boy was smothered by the teenage girl in December 2005 at a Welland foster home, less than 24 hours after she moved in.
When Meager took over the file, she said the girl's former case worker told her there were no serious behavioral problems since the girl had been in care. "I remember her saying, this is an easy case."
During her first visit with the girl, the foster mother and the former case worker, Meager said she was told the girl was able to follow direction. She was also very good with the foster mother's young grandson.
Three weeks into taking over the file though, Meager requested a child youth worker be assigned to provide extra support to the foster family and the teen and provide anger-management strategies.
Meager said the girl was verbally aggressive and had difficulty managing her anger, which made her a risk to herself. The teen would become oppositional, a lot of times when confronted by someone who said no, Meager said.
Once, Meager said she called police to come and talk to the teen about her behaviour.
She said the girl was very remorseful after any problems.
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"She was pleasant. She was happy. She loved Violet (the foster mother) very much. She loved being there," Meager said. "She was in Scouts. She was in dance."
The psychometrist report by Paula Shapiro, who testified earlier in the inquest, was received by Meager in January 2005. It found the girl functioned at the level of a six- or seven-year-old.
Shapiro said the girl should be considered at risk for life-long problems and can't be left alone in the community because she's "needy" and "vulnerable."
Meager said she was surprised by some aspects of the report because her school didn't feel the girl was developmentally delayed. Instead, they found she had a mild intellectual disability that didn't require associated community living. The girl, for instance, could make dinner and cookies, she said.
The girl's school counsellor felt the teen could do more than what the report suggested, Meager said, adding the counsellor thought the report was outdated and off in terms of academic capacity.
Meager said the counsellor felt the report would limit the girl and she would not receive the academic education she should get if the report went into the Ontario School Record, so it wasn't put in her record.
The inquest continues Tuesday at the Quality Hotel Parkway Convention Centre on Ontario Street.
kwalter@stcatharinesstandard.ca
http://www.stcatharinesstandard.ca/ArticleDisplay.aspx?e=2440389
Posted By Karena Walter
Posted 22 hours ago
A Family and Children's Services worker who handled the case of a 14-year-old killer believed the girl was a danger to herself, not to others.
Ana Meager testified Monday she was given a psychometrist's report on the girl that found the teen had an inability to understand boundaries in the community and safety risks.
"She would be easily victimized," Meager said.
Meager, who was assigned the girl's file in November 2004, was testifying on the fifth day of a coroner's inquest into the death of Matthew Reid.
The three-year-old boy was smothered by the teenage girl in December 2005 at a Welland foster home, less than 24 hours after she moved in.
When Meager took over the file, she said the girl's former case worker told her there were no serious behavioral problems since the girl had been in care. "I remember her saying, this is an easy case."
During her first visit with the girl, the foster mother and the former case worker, Meager said she was told the girl was able to follow direction. She was also very good with the foster mother's young grandson.
Three weeks into taking over the file though, Meager requested a child youth worker be assigned to provide extra support to the foster family and the teen and provide anger-management strategies.
Meager said the girl was verbally aggressive and had difficulty managing her anger, which made her a risk to herself. The teen would become oppositional, a lot of times when confronted by someone who said no, Meager said.
Once, Meager said she called police to come and talk to the teen about her behaviour.
She said the girl was very remorseful after any problems.
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"She was pleasant. She was happy. She loved Violet (the foster mother) very much. She loved being there," Meager said. "She was in Scouts. She was in dance."
The psychometrist report by Paula Shapiro, who testified earlier in the inquest, was received by Meager in January 2005. It found the girl functioned at the level of a six- or seven-year-old.
Shapiro said the girl should be considered at risk for life-long problems and can't be left alone in the community because she's "needy" and "vulnerable."
Meager said she was surprised by some aspects of the report because her school didn't feel the girl was developmentally delayed. Instead, they found she had a mild intellectual disability that didn't require associated community living. The girl, for instance, could make dinner and cookies, she said.
The girl's school counsellor felt the teen could do more than what the report suggested, Meager said, adding the counsellor thought the report was outdated and off in terms of academic capacity.
Meager said the counsellor felt the report would limit the girl and she would not receive the academic education she should get if the report went into the Ontario School Record, so it wasn't put in her record.
The inquest continues Tuesday at the Quality Hotel Parkway Convention Centre on Ontario Street.
kwalter@stcatharinesstandard.ca
http://www.stcatharinesstandard.ca/ArticleDisplay.aspx?e=2440389
What your thoughts on Foster Care (CPS)?
What your thoughts on Foster Care (CPS)? Do you agree with the system? Please Read More.
by Nica24 Posted 03/21/08
Two-year-old Isaac Lethbridge died on August 16, 2006 because child welfare caseworkers took him from his parents and placed him in an unsafe foster home environment. He had been beaten and burned while in state custody foster "care". His fosterer, Charlsie Adams-Rogers, 59, is on trial for manslaughter.
According to a Detroit Free Press article, Adams-Rogers "had a history of complaints alleging mistreatment of children in her home. Though Child Protective Services never substantiated any of the nine complaints, people familiar with the child welfare system say the allegations should have raised red flags about what was going on in the brick home on Greenlawn in northwest Detroit." But Adams-Rogers may not have been the one who inflicted the fatal blows. Her twelve-year-old daughter, one of three children Adams-Rogers adopted from foster care, stands accused of inflicting the final injury. There were at least seven children in the home at the time of Isaac's death.
A news report stated that before his death, Isaac's child welfare caseworker was aware of bruises on the child, inflicted while he was in custody, but did nothing to move the child from his dangerous foster home or protect him from further injury. His sister, who had been placed in the same home, also bore the signs of injuries at the time of her younger brother's death.
I'd like to say this is a unique situation, but tragically, it is not. Hundreds of children have died violently in foster homes, many at the hands of the adults paid to take care of them. As owner of a large family rights website, FightCPS, I've kept an ongoing blog documenting cases like this one since 2001. Caseworkers often don't remove children from abusive foster homes because there's no financial motivation for the agency to do so. They remove children from their natural family homes much more readily because as soon as they do, federal financial streams are available to enrich the counties that detain children.
In Isaac's case, his parents are accused of neglect due to poverty. They are not accused of abuse. He could have been better served by allowing the parents to learn to take appropriate care of their child while keeping custody of him. But now it is too late; he's dead due to our country's child welfare laws that destroy and harm nearly every family they affect.
According to an article in the Isaac Lethbridge file, he is the third child to die violently in a Michigan foster home within the last 18 months. Ricky Holland, age 7, was adopted out of foster care then killed by his adopters in July 2005. Allison Newman, age 2, died from blunt-force trauma injuries of unknown origin in September 2006. Apparently someone suggested she was "accidentally flung over a 12-foot balcony onto a hardwood floor." Who, I ask, "accidentally" throws a 2-year-old over a balcony? Allison's licensed foster 'mother' is jailed, charged with felony murder and involuntary manslaughter.
These children are the tip of the iceberg. An online memorial, In Memory of Children Protected to Death by CPS, posts dozens of names and photos of children who died in state custody foster homes in nearly every state of this nation. And these are only the ones that site owner can find names and photos for. Many more children have died in foster homes without coming to the public's attention.
http://www.gather.com/viewImage.jsp?fileId=3096224744023908&a...
This link here above is a ling of Children/ Teenagers that have been killed in CPS custody.
Really is our State providing the proper Care for these Children?
This is from the CPS Brochure:
“Foster Care could be a group facility or could be a
private home where the parents are temporary
caregivers who have been LICENSED by the state”
Licensed by the state, What are the requirements for to be LICENSED by the state? Is the US really looking into people backgrounds and history on these folks? Are they handing off to people who just have a home with space provided?
Do they need to come up with a new system or requirements with the family they stick these Children with?
THIS LINK HERE IS THE STEP PROCEDURES & REQUIREMENTS
https://www.azdes.gov/dcyf/adoption/
IN MY OPINION WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE HOW CLOSELY STAFF AT CPS ARE LOOKING AT THESE HOMES OR CPR NEEDS TO CHANGE SOMETHING IN ITS SYSTEM
http://www.sodahead.com/fun/what-your-thoughts-on-foster-care-cps-do-you-agree-with-the-system-please-read-more/question-63250/
by Nica24 Posted 03/21/08
Two-year-old Isaac Lethbridge died on August 16, 2006 because child welfare caseworkers took him from his parents and placed him in an unsafe foster home environment. He had been beaten and burned while in state custody foster "care". His fosterer, Charlsie Adams-Rogers, 59, is on trial for manslaughter.
According to a Detroit Free Press article, Adams-Rogers "had a history of complaints alleging mistreatment of children in her home. Though Child Protective Services never substantiated any of the nine complaints, people familiar with the child welfare system say the allegations should have raised red flags about what was going on in the brick home on Greenlawn in northwest Detroit." But Adams-Rogers may not have been the one who inflicted the fatal blows. Her twelve-year-old daughter, one of three children Adams-Rogers adopted from foster care, stands accused of inflicting the final injury. There were at least seven children in the home at the time of Isaac's death.
A news report stated that before his death, Isaac's child welfare caseworker was aware of bruises on the child, inflicted while he was in custody, but did nothing to move the child from his dangerous foster home or protect him from further injury. His sister, who had been placed in the same home, also bore the signs of injuries at the time of her younger brother's death.
I'd like to say this is a unique situation, but tragically, it is not. Hundreds of children have died violently in foster homes, many at the hands of the adults paid to take care of them. As owner of a large family rights website, FightCPS, I've kept an ongoing blog documenting cases like this one since 2001. Caseworkers often don't remove children from abusive foster homes because there's no financial motivation for the agency to do so. They remove children from their natural family homes much more readily because as soon as they do, federal financial streams are available to enrich the counties that detain children.
In Isaac's case, his parents are accused of neglect due to poverty. They are not accused of abuse. He could have been better served by allowing the parents to learn to take appropriate care of their child while keeping custody of him. But now it is too late; he's dead due to our country's child welfare laws that destroy and harm nearly every family they affect.
According to an article in the Isaac Lethbridge file, he is the third child to die violently in a Michigan foster home within the last 18 months. Ricky Holland, age 7, was adopted out of foster care then killed by his adopters in July 2005. Allison Newman, age 2, died from blunt-force trauma injuries of unknown origin in September 2006. Apparently someone suggested she was "accidentally flung over a 12-foot balcony onto a hardwood floor." Who, I ask, "accidentally" throws a 2-year-old over a balcony? Allison's licensed foster 'mother' is jailed, charged with felony murder and involuntary manslaughter.
These children are the tip of the iceberg. An online memorial, In Memory of Children Protected to Death by CPS, posts dozens of names and photos of children who died in state custody foster homes in nearly every state of this nation. And these are only the ones that site owner can find names and photos for. Many more children have died in foster homes without coming to the public's attention.
http://www.gather.com/viewImage.jsp?fileId=3096224744023908&a...
This link here above is a ling of Children/ Teenagers that have been killed in CPS custody.
Really is our State providing the proper Care for these Children?
This is from the CPS Brochure:
“Foster Care could be a group facility or could be a
private home where the parents are temporary
caregivers who have been LICENSED by the state”
Licensed by the state, What are the requirements for to be LICENSED by the state? Is the US really looking into people backgrounds and history on these folks? Are they handing off to people who just have a home with space provided?
Do they need to come up with a new system or requirements with the family they stick these Children with?
THIS LINK HERE IS THE STEP PROCEDURES & REQUIREMENTS
https://www.azdes.gov/dcyf/adoption/
IN MY OPINION WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE HOW CLOSELY STAFF AT CPS ARE LOOKING AT THESE HOMES OR CPR NEEDS TO CHANGE SOMETHING IN ITS SYSTEM
http://www.sodahead.com/fun/what-your-thoughts-on-foster-care-cps-do-you-agree-with-the-system-please-read-more/question-63250/
DHS Analyses Whether Age is a Factor in Abuse Investigations
Note from unhappygrammy-Age is a huge factor in abuse investigations. Potential Foster strangers are more interested in babies and toddler's than older children, as stated in foster classes. They all want babies. They are also more interested in adoption of these young children than working with families for reunification. Not that DCYF want's them to work with parent's. They don't. They tell the potential fosters to steer clear of bio family member's because their angry. Supposedly DCYF has no clue why their so angry. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that one.
DHS Analyses Whether Age is a Factor in Abuse Investigations
February 8, 2010
SALEM, Ore. -- Just last month, the Oregon Department of Human Services found it missed the warning signs of abuse with Jeanette Maples, a Eugene teen who was found dead in her home last year.
Now the agency is looking into whether age plays a factor when welfare workers choose which cases to investigate.
State investigators are looking at whether the flawed screenings in Jeanette Maples' case were due to individual misjudgments or a systemic problem of screeners relying upon a child's age as part of their evaluation of a child's vulnerability.
State investigators said Maples' age appears to have been considered as a major factor in the conclusion that she was not vulnerable.
Their audit of a sample of closed cases is expected to be completed by March 1st.
Login or register to post commentsShare News
Local News Pipe Break Leads to Green Creek
The dye isn't toxic, and the UO increased the flow of the water into the Millrace, hoping to dilute it before it reaches the Willamette.
HIV Alliance Offers Free Rapid HIV Testing For People of Color
The Oraquick tests are 99% reliable and results are ready in 20 minutes.
EXCLUSIVE: An Inside Look At Glenwood's 'Heroin Hill'
The two hundred acre swath of land first became a trouble spot a decade ago and it is still plaguing local law enforcement now.
Police Auditor Reports to Councilors
Eugene's independent police auditor will meet with the Eugene City Council to talk about a controversial case involving the tasing of a Chinese exchange student.
Corvallis School Board May Adjust Kindergarten Options
Budget shortfalls are happening at schools around Oregon, and in Corvallis that may mean changes to kindergarten programs.
http://kezi.com/page/161834
DHS Analyses Whether Age is a Factor in Abuse Investigations
February 8, 2010
SALEM, Ore. -- Just last month, the Oregon Department of Human Services found it missed the warning signs of abuse with Jeanette Maples, a Eugene teen who was found dead in her home last year.
Now the agency is looking into whether age plays a factor when welfare workers choose which cases to investigate.
State investigators are looking at whether the flawed screenings in Jeanette Maples' case were due to individual misjudgments or a systemic problem of screeners relying upon a child's age as part of their evaluation of a child's vulnerability.
State investigators said Maples' age appears to have been considered as a major factor in the conclusion that she was not vulnerable.
Their audit of a sample of closed cases is expected to be completed by March 1st.
Login or register to post commentsShare News
Local News Pipe Break Leads to Green Creek
The dye isn't toxic, and the UO increased the flow of the water into the Millrace, hoping to dilute it before it reaches the Willamette.
HIV Alliance Offers Free Rapid HIV Testing For People of Color
The Oraquick tests are 99% reliable and results are ready in 20 minutes.
EXCLUSIVE: An Inside Look At Glenwood's 'Heroin Hill'
The two hundred acre swath of land first became a trouble spot a decade ago and it is still plaguing local law enforcement now.
Police Auditor Reports to Councilors
Eugene's independent police auditor will meet with the Eugene City Council to talk about a controversial case involving the tasing of a Chinese exchange student.
Corvallis School Board May Adjust Kindergarten Options
Budget shortfalls are happening at schools around Oregon, and in Corvallis that may mean changes to kindergarten programs.
http://kezi.com/page/161834
Monday, February 8, 2010
Getting Through an Adoption Homestudy
Note from unhappygrammy-The article below shows how Home Studies are supposed to be done. In New Hampshire, this is not the norm. The Division does NOT follow Administrative Rules! Not when it comes to Biological families, that is if a familiy member is ever even considered for placement. NH DCYF wastes time and money on incomplete Home Studies to show family members why a relative child will NOT be placed with them, of course not letting on to the relatives until after the relatives are rejected. After caseworker's advocate for relative placement and the relatives are assured the child will be placed with them. Who in their right mind would go through a Home Study and set up a room for the child, if they knew ahead of time this was just another deceitful ploy by DCYF? If the relative knew ahead of time the Home study was just to screw them over more, why would they even bother? They would'nt!
Getting Through an Adoption Homestudy
Published September 04, 2006 by:
Kori Rodley Irons
One Step at a Time Will Get You Closer to Being a Parent
I must admit that I've been through a couple homestudy interviews and, although seasoned adoptive parents reassured me that they get easier with experience, I certainly didn't find that to be the case. In fact, I was more nervous and riddled with anxiety the second time-around than the first - because I DID know what to expect!
How much of the anxiety and discomfort was me and how much was circumstance, I may never know - but what I do know is that I can truly speak from experience. As someone who didn't just "breeze" through a homestudy process, I may be able to share some tips on how to "get through it!"
Although people often think of the homestudy as the moment the social worker comes into their home for a visit, a homestudy is actually a detailed and lengthy process by which a parent or parents are investigated and an in depth report on their readiness to be parents is prepared and submitted. It is a legal process and it is carefully regulated by state law. A homestudy includes financial documents, tax history, reference letters, a medical examination, copies of birth certificates and social security cards and, yes, an investigation of the family home and interviews.
Each homestudy is both regulated and unique. The requirements of your study will be determined by the state law in which you reside, the state in which your agency operates (if you use an out-of-state agency, you'll need to have your homestudy prepared by a social worker licensed in your home state,) and the requirements of the adoption program you are pursuing. When you apply to an agency, you will receive a document listing the homestudy requirements and the first step is to accumulate and complete all the paperwork required.
to Being a Parent
13 Once you've gathered your paperwork, you will need a background check and possible fingerprinting, and you'll need to provide references who are willing to write letters on your behalf. This is where I started to feel vulnerable - although my chosen references were incredibly cooperative and said they were happy to do it, I felt like it was a lot to ask of friends and family. Still, the references are a key component to the final homestudy report. You will also be asked to write an autobiography and possibly answer narrative questions about your life and experiences.
The paperwork, references, financial statements and other documents are sent to the social worker. Often payment for the homestudy is required prior to a visit being scheduled, or it may be due at the visit. If you are using one agency for your entire adoption process, the fee for the homestudy may be rolled into the overall fees. In addition to the homestudy fee, be prepared to pay for any mileage and/or travel time required of the social worker.
Some homestudies will require one in-home visit, while others will require the social worker to make more than one visit to your home. Everyone who lives in the home will need to be interviewed - this includes children already in the family. This was another uncontrollable discomfort for me as I am the parent of three teenagers - arranging for a visit time when they were all present and willing and then letting them have their say was a challenge, to say the least. Fortunately, during my most recent homestudy visit, I felt blessed to have a seasoned social worker when my fifteen year-old daughter decided to "act out" the latest chapter in her moody teen independence dance during the interview. My reassurance to you, if I can get a favorable report after having my teenager grumble about the "stinking baby" and how "nobody better expect her to baby-sit," you will certainly have an easier time of things! It was actually an opportunity for the social worker to view my "flexibility" and "calm parenting style." Of course, I was questioning my own sanity and parenting motivation for the remainder of the afternoon!
During the visit, the social worker will look over your home, ask you questions about where you plan to put everyone, what your expectations of parenting are, and any other questions that might have popped up during the compilation of your documents. This is actually a good time for you to ask questions if you have them, as well. Particular issues might come up during the homestudy that will need to be addressed before the report is issued. For me, in addition to the ambivalent teens, my worker asked for proof that my cats were healthy, so I had to scramble to find the veterinary records so those could be included. Like most potential adoptive parents, I spent the week before the visit scrubbing and cleaning and fluffing everything in my home - even though I knew I wasn't being evaluated entirely on my housekeeping. I think cleaning the house gives us some place to focus all our nervous out-of-control energy!
Once all the visits have been made, the interviews complete, and the paperwork compiled, your social worker will write up a homestudy report. This is a several page narrative document detailing who you are, your family life, your background and childhood, and taking into account all the information that has been compiled. This is the legal document stating that you have been approved (or not, if the case be) for adoption. The report will state the age, gender, etc. of the child you are approved to adopt. The entire process can take anywhere from a couple weeks to a few months depending on how quickly everyone moves to how many other people the social worker is working with at the same time.
As a homestudy veteran, and a veteran of the uncontrollably chaotic homestudy visit, I hope I can reassure you that it is entirely possible to "get through" a homestudy. Just take it one step at a time and realize that everyone involved really does have the best interest of your future child in mind. As they say in the sports world, keep your eye on the prize! The homestudy is just one step in your path to becoming a parent!
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Related Video My Husband Went thru My Adoption... By 'Chelle Baxter Happiness is a Warm Puppy: More... By Grab Networks Animal Adoption By Grab Networks Related ContentGetting Started with Adoption
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http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/57069/getting_through_an_adoption_homestudy.html?cat=25
Getting Through an Adoption Homestudy
Published September 04, 2006 by:
Kori Rodley Irons
One Step at a Time Will Get You Closer to Being a Parent
I must admit that I've been through a couple homestudy interviews and, although seasoned adoptive parents reassured me that they get easier with experience, I certainly didn't find that to be the case. In fact, I was more nervous and riddled with anxiety the second time-around than the first - because I DID know what to expect!
How much of the anxiety and discomfort was me and how much was circumstance, I may never know - but what I do know is that I can truly speak from experience. As someone who didn't just "breeze" through a homestudy process, I may be able to share some tips on how to "get through it!"
Although people often think of the homestudy as the moment the social worker comes into their home for a visit, a homestudy is actually a detailed and lengthy process by which a parent or parents are investigated and an in depth report on their readiness to be parents is prepared and submitted. It is a legal process and it is carefully regulated by state law. A homestudy includes financial documents, tax history, reference letters, a medical examination, copies of birth certificates and social security cards and, yes, an investigation of the family home and interviews.
Each homestudy is both regulated and unique. The requirements of your study will be determined by the state law in which you reside, the state in which your agency operates (if you use an out-of-state agency, you'll need to have your homestudy prepared by a social worker licensed in your home state,) and the requirements of the adoption program you are pursuing. When you apply to an agency, you will receive a document listing the homestudy requirements and the first step is to accumulate and complete all the paperwork required.
to Being a Parent
13 Once you've gathered your paperwork, you will need a background check and possible fingerprinting, and you'll need to provide references who are willing to write letters on your behalf. This is where I started to feel vulnerable - although my chosen references were incredibly cooperative and said they were happy to do it, I felt like it was a lot to ask of friends and family. Still, the references are a key component to the final homestudy report. You will also be asked to write an autobiography and possibly answer narrative questions about your life and experiences.
The paperwork, references, financial statements and other documents are sent to the social worker. Often payment for the homestudy is required prior to a visit being scheduled, or it may be due at the visit. If you are using one agency for your entire adoption process, the fee for the homestudy may be rolled into the overall fees. In addition to the homestudy fee, be prepared to pay for any mileage and/or travel time required of the social worker.
Some homestudies will require one in-home visit, while others will require the social worker to make more than one visit to your home. Everyone who lives in the home will need to be interviewed - this includes children already in the family. This was another uncontrollable discomfort for me as I am the parent of three teenagers - arranging for a visit time when they were all present and willing and then letting them have their say was a challenge, to say the least. Fortunately, during my most recent homestudy visit, I felt blessed to have a seasoned social worker when my fifteen year-old daughter decided to "act out" the latest chapter in her moody teen independence dance during the interview. My reassurance to you, if I can get a favorable report after having my teenager grumble about the "stinking baby" and how "nobody better expect her to baby-sit," you will certainly have an easier time of things! It was actually an opportunity for the social worker to view my "flexibility" and "calm parenting style." Of course, I was questioning my own sanity and parenting motivation for the remainder of the afternoon!
During the visit, the social worker will look over your home, ask you questions about where you plan to put everyone, what your expectations of parenting are, and any other questions that might have popped up during the compilation of your documents. This is actually a good time for you to ask questions if you have them, as well. Particular issues might come up during the homestudy that will need to be addressed before the report is issued. For me, in addition to the ambivalent teens, my worker asked for proof that my cats were healthy, so I had to scramble to find the veterinary records so those could be included. Like most potential adoptive parents, I spent the week before the visit scrubbing and cleaning and fluffing everything in my home - even though I knew I wasn't being evaluated entirely on my housekeeping. I think cleaning the house gives us some place to focus all our nervous out-of-control energy!
Once all the visits have been made, the interviews complete, and the paperwork compiled, your social worker will write up a homestudy report. This is a several page narrative document detailing who you are, your family life, your background and childhood, and taking into account all the information that has been compiled. This is the legal document stating that you have been approved (or not, if the case be) for adoption. The report will state the age, gender, etc. of the child you are approved to adopt. The entire process can take anywhere from a couple weeks to a few months depending on how quickly everyone moves to how many other people the social worker is working with at the same time.
As a homestudy veteran, and a veteran of the uncontrollably chaotic homestudy visit, I hope I can reassure you that it is entirely possible to "get through" a homestudy. Just take it one step at a time and realize that everyone involved really does have the best interest of your future child in mind. As they say in the sports world, keep your eye on the prize! The homestudy is just one step in your path to becoming a parent!
Page:« Prev Page1 address:
Related Video My Husband Went thru My Adoption... By 'Chelle Baxter Happiness is a Warm Puppy: More... By Grab Networks Animal Adoption By Grab Networks Related ContentGetting Started with Adoption
Exploring Child Adoption Options
Every Child Needs a Home!
Security Concern Deterring WiFi Adoption
Adoption and the Psychological Impact of E...
Employer-Provided Adoption Benefits
Unadopt a Child: The Growing Trend in Adop...Related ContentGetting Started with AdoptionExploring Child Adoption OptionsEvery Child Needs a Home!Security Concern Deterring WiFi AdoptionAdoption and the Psychological Impact of E...Employer-Provided Adoption BenefitsUnadopt a Child: The Growing Trend in Adop...
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/57069/getting_through_an_adoption_homestudy.html?cat=25
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