Isabella Brooke Knightly and Austin Gamez-Knightly
In Memory of my Loving Husband, William F. Knightly Jr. Murdered by ILLEGAL Palliative Care at a Nashua, NH Hospital
Monday, February 8, 2010
Getting Through an Adoption Homestudy
Note from unhappygrammy-The article below shows how Home Studies are supposed to be done. In New Hampshire, this is not the norm. The Division does NOT follow Administrative Rules! Not when it comes to Biological families, that is if a familiy member is ever even considered for placement. NH DCYF wastes time and money on incomplete Home Studies to show family members why a relative child will NOT be placed with them, of course not letting on to the relatives until after the relatives are rejected. After caseworker's advocate for relative placement and the relatives are assured the child will be placed with them. Who in their right mind would go through a Home Study and set up a room for the child, if they knew ahead of time this was just another deceitful ploy by DCYF? If the relative knew ahead of time the Home study was just to screw them over more, why would they even bother? They would'nt!
Getting Through an Adoption Homestudy
Published September 04, 2006 by:
Kori Rodley Irons
One Step at a Time Will Get You Closer to Being a Parent
I must admit that I've been through a couple homestudy interviews and, although seasoned adoptive parents reassured me that they get easier with experience, I certainly didn't find that to be the case. In fact, I was more nervous and riddled with anxiety the second time-around than the first - because I DID know what to expect!
How much of the anxiety and discomfort was me and how much was circumstance, I may never know - but what I do know is that I can truly speak from experience. As someone who didn't just "breeze" through a homestudy process, I may be able to share some tips on how to "get through it!"
Although people often think of the homestudy as the moment the social worker comes into their home for a visit, a homestudy is actually a detailed and lengthy process by which a parent or parents are investigated and an in depth report on their readiness to be parents is prepared and submitted. It is a legal process and it is carefully regulated by state law. A homestudy includes financial documents, tax history, reference letters, a medical examination, copies of birth certificates and social security cards and, yes, an investigation of the family home and interviews.
Each homestudy is both regulated and unique. The requirements of your study will be determined by the state law in which you reside, the state in which your agency operates (if you use an out-of-state agency, you'll need to have your homestudy prepared by a social worker licensed in your home state,) and the requirements of the adoption program you are pursuing. When you apply to an agency, you will receive a document listing the homestudy requirements and the first step is to accumulate and complete all the paperwork required.
to Being a Parent
13 Once you've gathered your paperwork, you will need a background check and possible fingerprinting, and you'll need to provide references who are willing to write letters on your behalf. This is where I started to feel vulnerable - although my chosen references were incredibly cooperative and said they were happy to do it, I felt like it was a lot to ask of friends and family. Still, the references are a key component to the final homestudy report. You will also be asked to write an autobiography and possibly answer narrative questions about your life and experiences.
The paperwork, references, financial statements and other documents are sent to the social worker. Often payment for the homestudy is required prior to a visit being scheduled, or it may be due at the visit. If you are using one agency for your entire adoption process, the fee for the homestudy may be rolled into the overall fees. In addition to the homestudy fee, be prepared to pay for any mileage and/or travel time required of the social worker.
Some homestudies will require one in-home visit, while others will require the social worker to make more than one visit to your home. Everyone who lives in the home will need to be interviewed - this includes children already in the family. This was another uncontrollable discomfort for me as I am the parent of three teenagers - arranging for a visit time when they were all present and willing and then letting them have their say was a challenge, to say the least. Fortunately, during my most recent homestudy visit, I felt blessed to have a seasoned social worker when my fifteen year-old daughter decided to "act out" the latest chapter in her moody teen independence dance during the interview. My reassurance to you, if I can get a favorable report after having my teenager grumble about the "stinking baby" and how "nobody better expect her to baby-sit," you will certainly have an easier time of things! It was actually an opportunity for the social worker to view my "flexibility" and "calm parenting style." Of course, I was questioning my own sanity and parenting motivation for the remainder of the afternoon!
During the visit, the social worker will look over your home, ask you questions about where you plan to put everyone, what your expectations of parenting are, and any other questions that might have popped up during the compilation of your documents. This is actually a good time for you to ask questions if you have them, as well. Particular issues might come up during the homestudy that will need to be addressed before the report is issued. For me, in addition to the ambivalent teens, my worker asked for proof that my cats were healthy, so I had to scramble to find the veterinary records so those could be included. Like most potential adoptive parents, I spent the week before the visit scrubbing and cleaning and fluffing everything in my home - even though I knew I wasn't being evaluated entirely on my housekeeping. I think cleaning the house gives us some place to focus all our nervous out-of-control energy!
Once all the visits have been made, the interviews complete, and the paperwork compiled, your social worker will write up a homestudy report. This is a several page narrative document detailing who you are, your family life, your background and childhood, and taking into account all the information that has been compiled. This is the legal document stating that you have been approved (or not, if the case be) for adoption. The report will state the age, gender, etc. of the child you are approved to adopt. The entire process can take anywhere from a couple weeks to a few months depending on how quickly everyone moves to how many other people the social worker is working with at the same time.
As a homestudy veteran, and a veteran of the uncontrollably chaotic homestudy visit, I hope I can reassure you that it is entirely possible to "get through" a homestudy. Just take it one step at a time and realize that everyone involved really does have the best interest of your future child in mind. As they say in the sports world, keep your eye on the prize! The homestudy is just one step in your path to becoming a parent!
Page:« Prev Page1 address:
Related Video My Husband Went thru My Adoption... By 'Chelle Baxter Happiness is a Warm Puppy: More... By Grab Networks Animal Adoption By Grab Networks Related ContentGetting Started with Adoption
Exploring Child Adoption Options
Every Child Needs a Home!
Security Concern Deterring WiFi Adoption
Adoption and the Psychological Impact of E...
Employer-Provided Adoption Benefits
Unadopt a Child: The Growing Trend in Adop...Related ContentGetting Started with AdoptionExploring Child Adoption OptionsEvery Child Needs a Home!Security Concern Deterring WiFi AdoptionAdoption and the Psychological Impact of E...Employer-Provided Adoption BenefitsUnadopt a Child: The Growing Trend in Adop...
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/57069/getting_through_an_adoption_homestudy.html?cat=25
Getting Through an Adoption Homestudy
Published September 04, 2006 by:
Kori Rodley Irons
One Step at a Time Will Get You Closer to Being a Parent
I must admit that I've been through a couple homestudy interviews and, although seasoned adoptive parents reassured me that they get easier with experience, I certainly didn't find that to be the case. In fact, I was more nervous and riddled with anxiety the second time-around than the first - because I DID know what to expect!
How much of the anxiety and discomfort was me and how much was circumstance, I may never know - but what I do know is that I can truly speak from experience. As someone who didn't just "breeze" through a homestudy process, I may be able to share some tips on how to "get through it!"
Although people often think of the homestudy as the moment the social worker comes into their home for a visit, a homestudy is actually a detailed and lengthy process by which a parent or parents are investigated and an in depth report on their readiness to be parents is prepared and submitted. It is a legal process and it is carefully regulated by state law. A homestudy includes financial documents, tax history, reference letters, a medical examination, copies of birth certificates and social security cards and, yes, an investigation of the family home and interviews.
Each homestudy is both regulated and unique. The requirements of your study will be determined by the state law in which you reside, the state in which your agency operates (if you use an out-of-state agency, you'll need to have your homestudy prepared by a social worker licensed in your home state,) and the requirements of the adoption program you are pursuing. When you apply to an agency, you will receive a document listing the homestudy requirements and the first step is to accumulate and complete all the paperwork required.
to Being a Parent
13 Once you've gathered your paperwork, you will need a background check and possible fingerprinting, and you'll need to provide references who are willing to write letters on your behalf. This is where I started to feel vulnerable - although my chosen references were incredibly cooperative and said they were happy to do it, I felt like it was a lot to ask of friends and family. Still, the references are a key component to the final homestudy report. You will also be asked to write an autobiography and possibly answer narrative questions about your life and experiences.
The paperwork, references, financial statements and other documents are sent to the social worker. Often payment for the homestudy is required prior to a visit being scheduled, or it may be due at the visit. If you are using one agency for your entire adoption process, the fee for the homestudy may be rolled into the overall fees. In addition to the homestudy fee, be prepared to pay for any mileage and/or travel time required of the social worker.
Some homestudies will require one in-home visit, while others will require the social worker to make more than one visit to your home. Everyone who lives in the home will need to be interviewed - this includes children already in the family. This was another uncontrollable discomfort for me as I am the parent of three teenagers - arranging for a visit time when they were all present and willing and then letting them have their say was a challenge, to say the least. Fortunately, during my most recent homestudy visit, I felt blessed to have a seasoned social worker when my fifteen year-old daughter decided to "act out" the latest chapter in her moody teen independence dance during the interview. My reassurance to you, if I can get a favorable report after having my teenager grumble about the "stinking baby" and how "nobody better expect her to baby-sit," you will certainly have an easier time of things! It was actually an opportunity for the social worker to view my "flexibility" and "calm parenting style." Of course, I was questioning my own sanity and parenting motivation for the remainder of the afternoon!
During the visit, the social worker will look over your home, ask you questions about where you plan to put everyone, what your expectations of parenting are, and any other questions that might have popped up during the compilation of your documents. This is actually a good time for you to ask questions if you have them, as well. Particular issues might come up during the homestudy that will need to be addressed before the report is issued. For me, in addition to the ambivalent teens, my worker asked for proof that my cats were healthy, so I had to scramble to find the veterinary records so those could be included. Like most potential adoptive parents, I spent the week before the visit scrubbing and cleaning and fluffing everything in my home - even though I knew I wasn't being evaluated entirely on my housekeeping. I think cleaning the house gives us some place to focus all our nervous out-of-control energy!
Once all the visits have been made, the interviews complete, and the paperwork compiled, your social worker will write up a homestudy report. This is a several page narrative document detailing who you are, your family life, your background and childhood, and taking into account all the information that has been compiled. This is the legal document stating that you have been approved (or not, if the case be) for adoption. The report will state the age, gender, etc. of the child you are approved to adopt. The entire process can take anywhere from a couple weeks to a few months depending on how quickly everyone moves to how many other people the social worker is working with at the same time.
As a homestudy veteran, and a veteran of the uncontrollably chaotic homestudy visit, I hope I can reassure you that it is entirely possible to "get through" a homestudy. Just take it one step at a time and realize that everyone involved really does have the best interest of your future child in mind. As they say in the sports world, keep your eye on the prize! The homestudy is just one step in your path to becoming a parent!
Page:« Prev Page1 address:
Related Video My Husband Went thru My Adoption... By 'Chelle Baxter Happiness is a Warm Puppy: More... By Grab Networks Animal Adoption By Grab Networks Related ContentGetting Started with Adoption
Exploring Child Adoption Options
Every Child Needs a Home!
Security Concern Deterring WiFi Adoption
Adoption and the Psychological Impact of E...
Employer-Provided Adoption Benefits
Unadopt a Child: The Growing Trend in Adop...Related ContentGetting Started with AdoptionExploring Child Adoption OptionsEvery Child Needs a Home!Security Concern Deterring WiFi AdoptionAdoption and the Psychological Impact of E...Employer-Provided Adoption BenefitsUnadopt a Child: The Growing Trend in Adop...
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/57069/getting_through_an_adoption_homestudy.html?cat=25
Non Custodial Mothers and Parental Alienation
Non Custodial Mothers and Parental Alienation
Published February 13, 2009 by:
Joy Henley
What do you think of when you meet a non-custodial mother? In most cases, a person's opinion or idea of a non-custodial mother is far from the truth. If you were to ask non-custodial mothers why they lost custody, you would receive a wide array of answers. Very few of these responses would be because the mother was "unfit." In fact, many mothers lose custody due to manipulative, controlling ex-spouses or partners.
Many mothers lose custody to their abusers. First, you may doubt this statement. Some studies have shown that batterers are able to convince authorities that the victim is unfit or undeserving of sole custody in approximately 70% of challenged cases. Fathers who batter mothers are two times more likely to seek sole physical custody of their children, than non-violent fathers.
Who are abusers? They can be highly educated with many credentials, prominent people in the community who are financially stable or wealthy, ones you would never imagine in a million years could commit such violence, and people in all professions. It is sometimes the people we admire and respect the most who abuse. They often do not "look" like abusers. It is this normal appearance and professionalism that in some ways, enable the inappropriate conduct. After all, who would believe THAT PERSON would abuse or batter anyone?
Second, you are probably wondering what judge in his or her right mind, would grant custody to an abuser.
How does it happen? Judges fail to consider all of the evidence- especially in abuse cases. Guardian Ad Litems who are supposed to remain neutral and in the best interests of the child(ren) lack training and choose "sides." The abuser has more money to spend on litigation. The abuser brings false allegations of abuse or molestation against the victim. The abuser forces the child to make false allegations against the mother. The mother's attorney fails to show up at a court hearing and a "default" is entered. The "court appointed psychological evaluation" is botched and untruthful. The evaluator conducting it is unqualified. The abuser uses a process of alienation techniques to turn the child against the other parent- so the child will say he or she wants to live with the abuser.
Don't ever believe the following: that he could not get custody because he is a drunk of other drug user, she must have done "something" to deserve not having her child, she is not telling the whole story, there is no court in this land that would give him custody- he already has children he does not support, she did not try hard enough, you would fight for your child or do something the non-custodial mother did not do, or that perfect justice exists. Most important, do not ever believe it will not happen to you or a loved one.
Parental Alienation is not just about one parent "brainwashing" the child against the other parent. When you bad-mouth the other parent to your child, you are bad-mouthing half of your child. That parent is one half of your child's heritage and identity. Love your whole child. Do not attempt to change your child's history or think you can "erase" your child's memories with the other parent. You will never be able to erase the love the child has for that parent or what is in his or her heart. The devastating and harmful effects of parental alienation can last a lifetime. Please do not do this to your child because it is child abuse.
Love your child more than you hate your ex. Remember when you look at your child, you are looking at the best of the union between you and the other parent. Our children make it impossible to regret our past. (a quote from the movie, "Black and Blue")
For more information see http://www.TheJulietteGilbertAssociation.com
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1456587/non_custodial_mothers_and_parental.html?cat=17
Published February 13, 2009 by:
Joy Henley
What do you think of when you meet a non-custodial mother? In most cases, a person's opinion or idea of a non-custodial mother is far from the truth. If you were to ask non-custodial mothers why they lost custody, you would receive a wide array of answers. Very few of these responses would be because the mother was "unfit." In fact, many mothers lose custody due to manipulative, controlling ex-spouses or partners.
Many mothers lose custody to their abusers. First, you may doubt this statement. Some studies have shown that batterers are able to convince authorities that the victim is unfit or undeserving of sole custody in approximately 70% of challenged cases. Fathers who batter mothers are two times more likely to seek sole physical custody of their children, than non-violent fathers.
Who are abusers? They can be highly educated with many credentials, prominent people in the community who are financially stable or wealthy, ones you would never imagine in a million years could commit such violence, and people in all professions. It is sometimes the people we admire and respect the most who abuse. They often do not "look" like abusers. It is this normal appearance and professionalism that in some ways, enable the inappropriate conduct. After all, who would believe THAT PERSON would abuse or batter anyone?
Second, you are probably wondering what judge in his or her right mind, would grant custody to an abuser.
How does it happen? Judges fail to consider all of the evidence- especially in abuse cases. Guardian Ad Litems who are supposed to remain neutral and in the best interests of the child(ren) lack training and choose "sides." The abuser has more money to spend on litigation. The abuser brings false allegations of abuse or molestation against the victim. The abuser forces the child to make false allegations against the mother. The mother's attorney fails to show up at a court hearing and a "default" is entered. The "court appointed psychological evaluation" is botched and untruthful. The evaluator conducting it is unqualified. The abuser uses a process of alienation techniques to turn the child against the other parent- so the child will say he or she wants to live with the abuser.
Don't ever believe the following: that he could not get custody because he is a drunk of other drug user, she must have done "something" to deserve not having her child, she is not telling the whole story, there is no court in this land that would give him custody- he already has children he does not support, she did not try hard enough, you would fight for your child or do something the non-custodial mother did not do, or that perfect justice exists. Most important, do not ever believe it will not happen to you or a loved one.
Parental Alienation is not just about one parent "brainwashing" the child against the other parent. When you bad-mouth the other parent to your child, you are bad-mouthing half of your child. That parent is one half of your child's heritage and identity. Love your whole child. Do not attempt to change your child's history or think you can "erase" your child's memories with the other parent. You will never be able to erase the love the child has for that parent or what is in his or her heart. The devastating and harmful effects of parental alienation can last a lifetime. Please do not do this to your child because it is child abuse.
Love your child more than you hate your ex. Remember when you look at your child, you are looking at the best of the union between you and the other parent. Our children make it impossible to regret our past. (a quote from the movie, "Black and Blue")
For more information see http://www.TheJulietteGilbertAssociation.com
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1456587/non_custodial_mothers_and_parental.html?cat=17
Is Parental Alienation a Form of Trauma?
Is Parental Alienation a Form of Trauma?
Published February 04, 2010 by:
Chrissy Chrzanowski
If you have gone through any type of trauma in your life you know it can leave you bewildered for an extended amount of time. The effect trauma has on an individual varies but most often the traumatic ramification will be apparent in everyday activities and relationships. International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies states "The impact of trauma has an effect on relationships and often the trauma extends past the individual and interferes with their important family, friends, or work relationships." Many individuals are still trapped within the trauma and it hinders their ability to live a healthy life. The question we ask here is Parental Alienation a form of trauma? What is "Parental Alienation" and what is "trauma"?
Parental Alienation- Is when a child expresses an intense unwarranted anger and hatred for one of their parents. Generally this happens as a result of a divorce or separation in which one parent influences a child with negative comments about the other parent, such as lack of warmth and love. The parent will have the child align with their emotion and anger towards the rejected parent. There are two fundamental structures describing alienating behaviors, direct and indirect. Direct alienating behaviors occur when one parent actively undermines the other parent, such as making derogatory remarks about the other parent or telling the child that the other parent is responsible for the separation or the cause of financial difficulties. Indirect alienation behaviors occur when one parent fails to support access or contact with the other parent, or tacitly accepts the child's negative behavior and comments towards the other parent.
Trauma- Is the Greek word for "wound" (and for "damage or defeat") Trauma has a definition for both a medical and psychiatric occurrences. Medically, the definition refers to any serious bodily injury or shock. In a psychiatric setting the definition has an alternative meaning. "Trauma" in this regard is an experience that is emotionally painful, distressful, or shocking and which may result in lasting mental and physical effects.
Psychiatric Trauma is a natural response to an agonizing event. It entails the creation of emotional memories about the extreme event that are stored in structures deep within the brain. In general, it is believed that the more direct the exposure to the traumatic event, the higher the risk for emotional harm.
Parental alienation has effects on both the children and rejected parents. As parental alienation progresses the bond becomes severed and the child becomes overburdened with negative emotions. The parent becomes traumatized by the actions of the child and the other parent. Some of the emotions are loss, grief, anger, guilt, rage, regret, confusion, fearfulness, shame and hopelessness just to name a few. Children are likely to feel these same emotions with an increased amount of confusion. A number of these children will lose their ability to form independent thinking skills. Frequently the rejected parent is in a state of shock because of the once warm bond they had with the children becomes shattered. The breakdown of compassionate communication turns into the child parroting words of hatred. The child's new extreme actions of rage make the wounds deep and painful.
Children that are conditioned to hate their other parent are more likely to have long lasting effects of emotional damage. With the belief that the more exposure to the traumatic events or lies the greater the risk for emotional harm. It is painful for a child's memory process to be robbed of the love of the other parent. Sometimes years go by before there is a correlation between the truth and the destructive fantasy realm that they were lead to believe. In cases where the child becomes aware of the truth and remembers the real memories they begin to live a new traumatic event. They now have to deal with what they have done and why this took place in their life. The new emotion of betrayal becomes apparent in their life and the focus on what has been done to them plays a vital role of who they have become.
The trauma that occurs in children may be suppressed because of their own behaviors or avoid the rejected parent altogether. Traumatized children often relive the painful emotions repeatedly in their lifetime when the trauma has occurred from a parent or caregiver. Furthermore this theory goes into further details about the parenting style they have learned from their dysfunctional parent. Children who later on become parents that have had trouble relationships or attachment issues with their own parents will be vulnerable to having complications raising their own children. Parents that have lived through the trauma of Parental Alienation as a child will avoid actuality of their own emotions which may become troublesome in acknowledging their own child's emotional state.
A website named Helpguide.org included in the effects that individuals experience when dealing with traumatic events in their life. .
Symptoms of Emotional Trauma
Physical
Eating disturbances (more or less than usual)
Sleep disturbances (more or less than usual)
Sexual dysfunction
Low energy
Chronic, unexplained pain
Emotional
Depression, spontaneous crying, despair and hopelessness
Anxiety
Panic attacks
Fearfulness
Compulsive and obsessive behaviors
Feeling out of control
Irritability, angry and resentment
Emotional numbness
Withdrawal from normal routine and relationships
Cognitive
Memory lapses, especially about the trauma
Difficulty making decisions
Decreased ability to concentrate
Feeling distracted
ADHD symptoms
Possible Effects of Trauma.
Common personal and behavioral effects of emotional trauma:
substance abuse
compulsive behavior patterns
self-destructive and impulsive behavior
uncontrollable reactive thoughts
inability to make healthy professional or lifestyle choices
dissociative symptoms ("splitting off" parts of the self)
feelings of ineffectiveness, shame, despair, hopelessness
feeling permanently damaged
a loss of previously sustained beliefs
Common effects of emotional trauma on interpersonal relationships:
inability to maintain close relationships or choose appropriate friends and mates
sexual problems
hostility
arguments with family members, employers or co-workers
social withdrawal
feeling constantly threatened
In conclusion looking at the connections between the two terms and the emotional effects that occur in parental alienation there is a parallelism and should be studied further. There is enough evidence and similarities to justify the statement that parental alienation is a form of psychological trauma for the child. The definitions of trauma and parental alienation as well as their long-term effects, left untreated, can lead to other medical and physical apparitions in the course of the affected person's lifetime. While looking at the complex components of Parental Alienation, the concept of trauma should be introduced as an important element in similar treatment for health and recovery.
Sources
1. Complex Trauma in Children and Adolescents
Alexandra Cook, Joseph Spinazzola, Julian Ford, Cheryl Lanktree, et al. Psychiatric Annals. Thorofare: May 2005. Vol.35, Iss. 5; pg. 390
2. The International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies http://www.istss.org
3. Help guide.org Healing Emotional and Psychological Trauma
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2664979/is_parental_alienation_a_form_of_trauma.html?cat=25
Published February 04, 2010 by:
Chrissy Chrzanowski
If you have gone through any type of trauma in your life you know it can leave you bewildered for an extended amount of time. The effect trauma has on an individual varies but most often the traumatic ramification will be apparent in everyday activities and relationships. International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies states "The impact of trauma has an effect on relationships and often the trauma extends past the individual and interferes with their important family, friends, or work relationships." Many individuals are still trapped within the trauma and it hinders their ability to live a healthy life. The question we ask here is Parental Alienation a form of trauma? What is "Parental Alienation" and what is "trauma"?
Parental Alienation- Is when a child expresses an intense unwarranted anger and hatred for one of their parents. Generally this happens as a result of a divorce or separation in which one parent influences a child with negative comments about the other parent, such as lack of warmth and love. The parent will have the child align with their emotion and anger towards the rejected parent. There are two fundamental structures describing alienating behaviors, direct and indirect. Direct alienating behaviors occur when one parent actively undermines the other parent, such as making derogatory remarks about the other parent or telling the child that the other parent is responsible for the separation or the cause of financial difficulties. Indirect alienation behaviors occur when one parent fails to support access or contact with the other parent, or tacitly accepts the child's negative behavior and comments towards the other parent.
Trauma- Is the Greek word for "wound" (and for "damage or defeat") Trauma has a definition for both a medical and psychiatric occurrences. Medically, the definition refers to any serious bodily injury or shock. In a psychiatric setting the definition has an alternative meaning. "Trauma" in this regard is an experience that is emotionally painful, distressful, or shocking and which may result in lasting mental and physical effects.
Psychiatric Trauma is a natural response to an agonizing event. It entails the creation of emotional memories about the extreme event that are stored in structures deep within the brain. In general, it is believed that the more direct the exposure to the traumatic event, the higher the risk for emotional harm.
Parental alienation has effects on both the children and rejected parents. As parental alienation progresses the bond becomes severed and the child becomes overburdened with negative emotions. The parent becomes traumatized by the actions of the child and the other parent. Some of the emotions are loss, grief, anger, guilt, rage, regret, confusion, fearfulness, shame and hopelessness just to name a few. Children are likely to feel these same emotions with an increased amount of confusion. A number of these children will lose their ability to form independent thinking skills. Frequently the rejected parent is in a state of shock because of the once warm bond they had with the children becomes shattered. The breakdown of compassionate communication turns into the child parroting words of hatred. The child's new extreme actions of rage make the wounds deep and painful.
Children that are conditioned to hate their other parent are more likely to have long lasting effects of emotional damage. With the belief that the more exposure to the traumatic events or lies the greater the risk for emotional harm. It is painful for a child's memory process to be robbed of the love of the other parent. Sometimes years go by before there is a correlation between the truth and the destructive fantasy realm that they were lead to believe. In cases where the child becomes aware of the truth and remembers the real memories they begin to live a new traumatic event. They now have to deal with what they have done and why this took place in their life. The new emotion of betrayal becomes apparent in their life and the focus on what has been done to them plays a vital role of who they have become.
The trauma that occurs in children may be suppressed because of their own behaviors or avoid the rejected parent altogether. Traumatized children often relive the painful emotions repeatedly in their lifetime when the trauma has occurred from a parent or caregiver. Furthermore this theory goes into further details about the parenting style they have learned from their dysfunctional parent. Children who later on become parents that have had trouble relationships or attachment issues with their own parents will be vulnerable to having complications raising their own children. Parents that have lived through the trauma of Parental Alienation as a child will avoid actuality of their own emotions which may become troublesome in acknowledging their own child's emotional state.
A website named Helpguide.org included in the effects that individuals experience when dealing with traumatic events in their life. .
Symptoms of Emotional Trauma
Physical
Eating disturbances (more or less than usual)
Sleep disturbances (more or less than usual)
Sexual dysfunction
Low energy
Chronic, unexplained pain
Emotional
Depression, spontaneous crying, despair and hopelessness
Anxiety
Panic attacks
Fearfulness
Compulsive and obsessive behaviors
Feeling out of control
Irritability, angry and resentment
Emotional numbness
Withdrawal from normal routine and relationships
Cognitive
Memory lapses, especially about the trauma
Difficulty making decisions
Decreased ability to concentrate
Feeling distracted
ADHD symptoms
Possible Effects of Trauma.
Common personal and behavioral effects of emotional trauma:
substance abuse
compulsive behavior patterns
self-destructive and impulsive behavior
uncontrollable reactive thoughts
inability to make healthy professional or lifestyle choices
dissociative symptoms ("splitting off" parts of the self)
feelings of ineffectiveness, shame, despair, hopelessness
feeling permanently damaged
a loss of previously sustained beliefs
Common effects of emotional trauma on interpersonal relationships:
inability to maintain close relationships or choose appropriate friends and mates
sexual problems
hostility
arguments with family members, employers or co-workers
social withdrawal
feeling constantly threatened
In conclusion looking at the connections between the two terms and the emotional effects that occur in parental alienation there is a parallelism and should be studied further. There is enough evidence and similarities to justify the statement that parental alienation is a form of psychological trauma for the child. The definitions of trauma and parental alienation as well as their long-term effects, left untreated, can lead to other medical and physical apparitions in the course of the affected person's lifetime. While looking at the complex components of Parental Alienation, the concept of trauma should be introduced as an important element in similar treatment for health and recovery.
Sources
1. Complex Trauma in Children and Adolescents
Alexandra Cook, Joseph Spinazzola, Julian Ford, Cheryl Lanktree, et al. Psychiatric Annals. Thorofare: May 2005. Vol.35, Iss. 5; pg. 390
2. The International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies http://www.istss.org
3. Help guide.org Healing Emotional and Psychological Trauma
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2664979/is_parental_alienation_a_form_of_trauma.html?cat=25
Two arrested for alleged murder of FOSTER child
Two arrested for alleged murder of child
Posted: 02/07/2010 03:18:01 PM PST
Two Paradise residents were arrested after their 8 year old foster child died early Saturday morning. Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz were booked into Butte County Jail on an open count murder and child abuse charges.
Police responded to the 500 block of Crestwood Drive at about 1 a.m. after receiving a report of a female juvenile who was not breathing. Officers arrived to find the child in full cardiac arrest. The responding officer performed CPR and the girl was transported to Feather River Hospital where she began breathing again with the aid of life support.
The girl was to be transferred to Sutter Memorial Hospital in Sacramento, but died on the way to Enloe Medical Center. Police determined the incident was a result of child abuse and upon a follow up investigation police discovered an 11 year-old girl in the same residence with significant injuries.
The 11 year-old was hospitalized and transferred to Sutter Hospital. There were seven other children in the house - one more foster child and the Schatzes six biological children. The remaining youths were taken into protective custody and released to Child Protective Services.
The children were being home schooled and had no affiliation with the Paradise Unified School District. There is no evidence of prior child abuse history with the family. The incident is still under investigation.
Anyone with information regarding the incident is encouraged to call the Paradise Police Department at 872-6241.
The Post will update the story as new information is made available.
http://www.paradisepost.com/news/ci_14350238
Posted: 02/07/2010 03:18:01 PM PST
Two Paradise residents were arrested after their 8 year old foster child died early Saturday morning. Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz were booked into Butte County Jail on an open count murder and child abuse charges.
Police responded to the 500 block of Crestwood Drive at about 1 a.m. after receiving a report of a female juvenile who was not breathing. Officers arrived to find the child in full cardiac arrest. The responding officer performed CPR and the girl was transported to Feather River Hospital where she began breathing again with the aid of life support.
The girl was to be transferred to Sutter Memorial Hospital in Sacramento, but died on the way to Enloe Medical Center. Police determined the incident was a result of child abuse and upon a follow up investigation police discovered an 11 year-old girl in the same residence with significant injuries.
The 11 year-old was hospitalized and transferred to Sutter Hospital. There were seven other children in the house - one more foster child and the Schatzes six biological children. The remaining youths were taken into protective custody and released to Child Protective Services.
The children were being home schooled and had no affiliation with the Paradise Unified School District. There is no evidence of prior child abuse history with the family. The incident is still under investigation.
Anyone with information regarding the incident is encouraged to call the Paradise Police Department at 872-6241.
The Post will update the story as new information is made available.
http://www.paradisepost.com/news/ci_14350238
Sunday, February 7, 2010
DCFS children's deaths rose in 2009
DCFS children's deaths rose in 2009
No major overhauls planned, but director says department remains committed
By Troy Anderson, Staff Writer
Updated: 02/05/2010 11:30:51 PM PST
The county's child welfare and protection agency saw an increase last year in deaths of children whose cases it had investigated, but its head said Friday that the department doesn't plan any major policy overhauls.
Last year, 17 children died from abuse or neglect after the Department of Children and Family Services had investigated earlier complaints of mistreatment.
The figure, an increase from 2008's total of 14 deaths, includes both open and closed investigations.
Those deaths at the hands of a parent or caregiver include several well-publicized cases, including Dae'von Bailey, Lars Sanchez and Isabel Garcia whose alleged mistreatment had been reported to DCFS before their deaths.
While some media reports said the increase in deaths partly contributed to a policy change that would seek to place more kids in foster care to prevent them from harm at home, DCFS Director Trish Ploehn said Friday that the reports were not accurate.
Ploehn said her department remains committed to returning children to their families whenever it is safe and in the best interest of the children.
"Our highest priority is to ensure that families are supported with adequate resources to care for their own children," Ploehn said in a prepared statement. "We remain committed to the direction we have been taking ... to focus on keeping families together."
Ploehn said the number of deaths fluctuates from year to year and is still below a
high of 20 in 1998 and 1999 when the department oversaw 50,000 foster children.
Following reforms in recent years, the number of foster children has dropped to 15,680 now. The recent increase in deaths of children doesn't indicate the reforms have failed, Ploehn said. She noted DCFS investigates 160,000 to 180,000 reports of abuse and neglect each year.
Deanne Tilton Durfee, executive director of the Inter-Agency Council on Child Abuse and Neglect, agreed the increase in deaths is not a "significant increase in the larger spectrum of things," but she said every child death is a tragedy "so we have to pay attention to that."
"My perspective is that we need to assure that families are provided services to keep them safely together, but at the same time not view foster care as necessarily a totally negative experience," Tilton Durfee said. "For some children, foster care may be a very positive experience."
http://www.dailynews.com/news/ci_14346137?source=rss
No major overhauls planned, but director says department remains committed
By Troy Anderson, Staff Writer
Updated: 02/05/2010 11:30:51 PM PST
The county's child welfare and protection agency saw an increase last year in deaths of children whose cases it had investigated, but its head said Friday that the department doesn't plan any major policy overhauls.
Last year, 17 children died from abuse or neglect after the Department of Children and Family Services had investigated earlier complaints of mistreatment.
The figure, an increase from 2008's total of 14 deaths, includes both open and closed investigations.
Those deaths at the hands of a parent or caregiver include several well-publicized cases, including Dae'von Bailey, Lars Sanchez and Isabel Garcia whose alleged mistreatment had been reported to DCFS before their deaths.
While some media reports said the increase in deaths partly contributed to a policy change that would seek to place more kids in foster care to prevent them from harm at home, DCFS Director Trish Ploehn said Friday that the reports were not accurate.
Ploehn said her department remains committed to returning children to their families whenever it is safe and in the best interest of the children.
"Our highest priority is to ensure that families are supported with adequate resources to care for their own children," Ploehn said in a prepared statement. "We remain committed to the direction we have been taking ... to focus on keeping families together."
Ploehn said the number of deaths fluctuates from year to year and is still below a
high of 20 in 1998 and 1999 when the department oversaw 50,000 foster children.
Following reforms in recent years, the number of foster children has dropped to 15,680 now. The recent increase in deaths of children doesn't indicate the reforms have failed, Ploehn said. She noted DCFS investigates 160,000 to 180,000 reports of abuse and neglect each year.
Deanne Tilton Durfee, executive director of the Inter-Agency Council on Child Abuse and Neglect, agreed the increase in deaths is not a "significant increase in the larger spectrum of things," but she said every child death is a tragedy "so we have to pay attention to that."
"My perspective is that we need to assure that families are provided services to keep them safely together, but at the same time not view foster care as necessarily a totally negative experience," Tilton Durfee said. "For some children, foster care may be a very positive experience."
http://www.dailynews.com/news/ci_14346137?source=rss
No way to guarantee foster children's safety: advocate
Note from unhappygrammy-If there is no way to guarantee foster children won't be abused, they shouldn't be placed in foster care in the first place. How can these people even be called child protective services when they can't even protect children in THEIR custody!
No way to guarantee foster children's safety: advocate
Last Updated: Sunday, February 7, 2010 | 2:22 PM MT
CBC News
Alberta's Child and Youth Advocate says he doesn't believe there is any way to guarantee foster children will never be abused.
John Mould, Alberta's Child and Youth Advocate, told CBC News allegations that a 51-year-old Calgary man allegedly offered money to three boys in his care in exchange for sexual acts are disappointing.
However, Mould said cases like this one are one of the realities of child welfare systems.
"You know, it's one of those things. One never wants it to happen but … it does happen," he said, adding that his office will work "to learn as much as possible about the circumstances of what happened here."
Children and Youth Services Minister Yvonne Fritz has called for an internal review of the case.
She said she will act quickly to implement any recommendations that might come out of the report.
But Mould said there is no way to guarantee that children are 100 per cent safe.
"There's no fool-proof screening mechanism that I'm aware of," he said.
"I think that lots and lots of effort is put into doing the best screening that the service system knows how to do … but I just don't think that there is an answer that would reassure people that if we did this the problem would disappear."
While the case has the province's Liberal party questioning the competency of the Department of Children and Youth Services, Fritz said incidences of abuse within the foster care system are very unusual.
This story is closed to commenting..
Read more: http://www.cbc.ca/canada/calgary/story/2010/02/07/calgary-child-advocate-foster-system-abuse.html#ixzz0ethVc6SE
No way to guarantee foster children's safety: advocate
Last Updated: Sunday, February 7, 2010 | 2:22 PM MT
CBC News
Alberta's Child and Youth Advocate says he doesn't believe there is any way to guarantee foster children will never be abused.
John Mould, Alberta's Child and Youth Advocate, told CBC News allegations that a 51-year-old Calgary man allegedly offered money to three boys in his care in exchange for sexual acts are disappointing.
However, Mould said cases like this one are one of the realities of child welfare systems.
"You know, it's one of those things. One never wants it to happen but … it does happen," he said, adding that his office will work "to learn as much as possible about the circumstances of what happened here."
Children and Youth Services Minister Yvonne Fritz has called for an internal review of the case.
She said she will act quickly to implement any recommendations that might come out of the report.
But Mould said there is no way to guarantee that children are 100 per cent safe.
"There's no fool-proof screening mechanism that I'm aware of," he said.
"I think that lots and lots of effort is put into doing the best screening that the service system knows how to do … but I just don't think that there is an answer that would reassure people that if we did this the problem would disappear."
While the case has the province's Liberal party questioning the competency of the Department of Children and Youth Services, Fritz said incidences of abuse within the foster care system are very unusual.
This story is closed to commenting..
Read more: http://www.cbc.ca/canada/calgary/story/2010/02/07/calgary-child-advocate-foster-system-abuse.html#ixzz0ethVc6SE
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)