The Family Without Children Is Not A Complete Family.
People do not always realize for what they need children. We know that children are necessary that the human race was not stopped. But not everybody get children. And those who affords it, first, have either one child, or 10; and secondly, are guided thus by different motives. Very often, when you ask a question to the young spouse on this theme, answers do not please. As a rule, phrases sound: “Everybody has children” or “It is impossible to imagine family without children”. On the one hand, such, apparently, not intelligence in so serious question looks painfully, but with another – if more deeply to understand, here is the assurance of that the given process will never will, if there it is practically unconscious. Its durability is in its automatism. It does not risk to become a rhetoric subject so will not break spontaneously.
What does induce people in a modern society, under condition of existence of a free choice, to give birth to children? We will try to outline approximately a circle of the questions appearing at spouses when they appear before a dilemma to have or not to have children. Naturally, more the acute problem sounds when pregnancy has already arisen, but now for us this circumstance has no value. Surprisingly, but more often as more active supporter of getting children acts the wife. After all usually woman takes all responsibility about care and education of the child. And still the woman makes a choice to have children. Having told that the matter here is in an instinct, we clear up a situation a little. The word almost explains nothing, anyway does not help to understand, why there are conflicts on this ground.
One of the most popular motives is motive of saving and strengthening of the family. Consciously or unconsciously the majority of women aspire both to keep the husband, and to strengthen the position in partnership. We will not forget that, having given birth to the child, the woman to the social status of the wife adds the status of mother, which considerably raises her importance in a society. She gets the whole complex of protection means, both legal, and moral. If the woman has become pregnant, it changes as well her social meaning and she has got bigger weight in a society. Means of influence for the husband are also added accordingly. She manipulates with her husband easier. That it is really so, it is easy to see on an example of the relations arising quite often after divorce. Possibility to meet with the child sometimes is used for quite frank blackmail.
There is also other motive, and probably, it even is more universal, than the first. Almost each person aspires to feel sensation of full self-realization, self-disclosing. Certainly, for any woman ability to a childbearing is one of the most important, her main historical and social role. But, as any ability, it can be certified in a definitive kind only through realization. That is, without having made the birth of the child, nobody can be assured that is capable to give birth. High relative density of the given motive proves to be true that many women are quite satisfied with one child.
On this ground spouses have conflicts between each other very often. If you want to have children and to save the family, you should discuss this problem very carefully. Good luck!
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