System shuns father's family Grandparents, father have to fight for custody of son in foster care

System shuns father's family

Grandparents, father have to fight for custody of son in foster care

BY LANA HAIGHT, THE STARPHOENIXFEBRUARY 26, 2010

Baby Nolan's grandparents didn't know he'd been born until he was two months old
Photograph by: Greg Pender, The StarPhoenix, The StarPhoenix
One year ago, Saskatchewan children's advocate issued a scathing report on foster home overcrowding in the Saskatoon area. Kids in crisis is how Marvin Bernstein characterized the desperate situation, with some families trying to care for up to 15 children and youth at the same time. The consequence: Shocking stories of abuse and neglect.

This week, SP reporter Lana Haight tells the stories of a handful of children stuck in the system.

The children are among hundreds who are apprehended by child welfare workers every year in Saskatchewan and placed in foster homes. Some are in care for a few short weeks, while others remain in care for years.

The caregivers point to a rigid system where birth rights appear to trump the well-being of the children. Undeterred, they have gone to bat for the children and battled the system with mixed results. Based on their stories, we have identified recommendations that would have made a difference in the children's lives -- ultimately freeing them from the system.

TODAY: A father's family is shunned by the child welfare system.

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PART 4 OF A FIVE-PART SERIES

Baby Nolan had already been in foster care for two months when his father and family learned of his birth. The baby spent another 12 months in the system before the dad was granted full custody of the boy.

"I'm always sad that we didn't get to rock and cuddle him when he was a baby," said grandma Judy.

She and her husband John are the primary caregivers for Nolan, now a busy 26-month-old toddler. The boy's father works out of town during the week and returns on weekends.

In the summer of 2007, Judy and John received a phone call from someone saying their son's former girlfriend was pregnant. They hired a lawyer to contact the woman, but had no success. They gave up.

When Nolan was born in October, his mother never told the father, nor did she identify him as such on the birth registration form.

But in December 2007, the 25-year-old man was contacted by Social Services and asked to provide family medical history because the mother wanted the baby, who was apprehended at birth, to be put up for adoption.

Suspicious about the situation, the man had DNA testing done, which proved his paternity. Now he was conflicted about what to do. Unsure that he could care for a baby boy, he didn't want his son to be adopted by strangers. And the birth mom didn't want the father and his family to have custody.

"There's always a battle when a relationship has gone sour," said Judy.

Little did the family know the battle would extend to a prolonged fight with the provincial government and its social workers, with baby Nolan caught in the middle.

"It was bungled right from the start," said grandpa John.

"Nobody seemed to know where to go and what to do," added Judy.

"Most dads walk away from this kind of situation. They didn't know how to deal with the dad."

Nolan's dad and grandma were invited to their first visit with the baby in May 2008, when he was seven months old. They arrived at an office of the Ministry of Social Services right after lunch and found the waiting room packed with about 50 other people. Two social workers met them in the waiting area and one began talking about Nolan in front of everyone, says Judy.

"It was a very uncomfortable situation. (One social worker) began pointing out characteristics consistent with fetal alcohol syndrome. The other social worker tried to shush her up."

Within a couple of months, baby Nolan was going to the grandparents' home for regular, and then extended, visits that were arranged between the foster family and Nolan's father and grandparents.

By the end of August 2008, Nolan was living with his grandparents, but neither they nor his dad had any legal standing. The foster mom informed Nolan's social worker of the arrangement. It was another two months before anyone from Social Services visited the grandparents' home to determine its safety and suitability.

"We had two social workers come out to our home. They were sent out by their supervisor. They just came to see where he was," said Judy.

And in September, the family members were called to a meeting with social workers to discuss Nolan's living arrangement.

By November 2008, Nolan's family and the foster family were frustrated with the social workers and the system in general. Nolan was living with his grandparents, the foster mom was receiving payment despite her objections (she used the money to purchase diapers and formula that she then passed on to the grandparents) and no one, including the family's lawyer, was able to move forward with Nolan's status.

While a call made to the Regina office of the Ministry of Social Services by Judy was the "worse thing ever," it also got the ball rolling.

The ministry ordered Nolan be returned to the foster family or he would apprehended. Also, the local supervisor denied knowing Nolan was living with his grandparents. However, the order came at the same time that the foster parents were dealing with the death of a family member.

On the Monday, Nolan's family returned him to foster care and on the Tuesday, a social worker called Nolan's family asking that the baby come back to the grandparents' home for a few days until the foster family was able to care for Nolan again.

For the first time since being involved with Social Services, Nolan's family members required criminal record checks and had to sign for his temporary custody.

The silver lining in Nolan's story is he was cared for by one foster family throughout the first years of his life and he was the only foster child placed in the home at the time. And while John and Judy have kind words for a couple of the social workers they encountered, the grandparents question the actions and inaction by most of the workers and the child protection system in general.

"They had no concern about (Nolan). His well-being wasn't considered," said Judy.

"And they are not accountable for their resources," added John.

Family recommendation: Give a father who wants custody of his child the automatic right to that custody if the mother is not interested in caring for the child.

TOMORROW: Children's voices need to be heard; and Family court a delaying experience

The StarPhoenix contacted the Ministry of Social Services requesting access to foster families to tell their stories, with the guarantee of anonymity, but was denied its request. We also contacted the First Nations Child and Family Services Agencies throughout the province and the Federation of Saskatchewan Indian Nations for information and was not provided any. In the end, we used our own network of contacts to find families willing to talk about their experiences.

The names of the families and the children have been changed for this series. In some cases, the law required it because the children could not be identified. In other cases, the families requested it because they don't want backlash from the system.

lhaight@sp.canwest.com

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